Dear Nal,

I'm sorry your life sucks.

I'm sorry that you had to land up in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

I'm sorry that you have to go through all these being flung at you, all at once.

I'm sorry that when you cry, I can't do anything.

I'm sorry that you made wrong choices.

I'm sorry people made wrong choices for you.

I'm sorry you're me.

My heart just skipped a beat, over and over again.

For the right, and for the wrong reasons.

Painted Walls

I trap myself in these painted walls

Unbothered by that noise, oh that noise

Crows from the rooftop

Where love once lived

Meaningless talk and scared silence

Avoiding hurt that now resides

Amongst these painted walls

Whitewashed to all its glory

Curtains covering the dents that remain

Pain and brokenness

Now eat away

At these painted walls

Livin' On the Radio

I’ve got no friends
I’m my own queen
But I’m living on, living on the the radio
That’s my dream

Stone river eyes
And a lonely heart
If I’m living on the radio
They won’t tear me apart

10 steps and roses on the tree
10 steps and lonely nights
But you’ve still got me
On the road
Road paved in gold

Baby you must believe
Baby you must be free
Keep living on, living on the radio
That’s my dream

Baby you’ve gotta friend
And so many little monsters, yeah
Keep living on, living on the radio
That’s your dream

And when there’s nowhere to go
And your friends are gone
And you only got your daddy to call
It will be all right, honey
Cause your songs are on the radio

Cause the showbiz, all the caviar
The champagne and the sold out shows
But it will be all right honey
Cause your songs are on the radio

If Only

If only I didn't see that email, I wouldn't have had my suspicions confirmed.

I wouldn't have had my heart broken for the umpteenth by you, and I wouldn't feel like my past forgiveness have been wasted.

I've always been one to put up strong fronts and reason my way out of tears, but this time, I think I'm done acting, I'm done arguing with myself.

This has nothing to do with Bryan Yeo (as many of you would like to believe). I think there are many more issues to me than just my boyfriend (my life doesn't solely revolve around him).

I've written a song, and one day, when I get over this, I'll put it up online. Right now, it's off limits.

To you, who probably will never see this:

I've known for years, and finding out doesn't shock me. What saddens me is that despite it being wrong, your mind has been so painfully warped to think that what you're doing is right, forgivable and continuable. It's hurting not only me, but all of us. I thought that after so many years, we can let this go because you've changed. But you haven't. I'll still forgive you, because of who you are. But that doesn't change my disappointment in you, the pain that I feel because of your actions won't change either. Love covers a multitude of sins, forgiveness, mercy and grace stem out from that love.

Love, your one and only,

Huay.

one-liner

if you found out, would you still love me for who i am?

Square Root Three

I fear that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

A three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

Such a geeky, cute poem. (:

Since School Started

Yes, I know it's only Tuesday, but let me just give a brief summary on how school has been.

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

There're no core module lectures, no core module tutorials - NOTHING! So bored every day in school. The worse thing is, I have to be in school at awkward timings this entire week. Monday I was in school from 2 to 7pm so I could camp for modules, which I got. But now I want to change, all cause of my fickle-mindedness, which sucks. BOO.

It's gonna be uni jargon from here on, so just skip it to avoid getting mindscrewed. Haha!

Here's what I want:

COM205 to HL101.

COM204 T6 to T-anything with tutorial in the afternoon. (Changed with Amin! Thursday afternoon lect here I come! :D)

Get one more module cause I only have 19 AUs! (Hopefully MB107, or GV17, or something either really easy/interesting, or part of my GERPEs).

So annoying right, these uni stuff.

Tuesday I was in school at 3.30 to 6pm to practice for Homecoming with Weixiang and Corn. We're just gonna perform by faith. Heh :D

Wednesday I have to attend HL808 lecture. It starts at 2.30 and ends at 5.30pm! That's one really long lecture. Then I'm meeting NTU-CHC ppl for a PM and fellowship at 6pm to who knows when. So yea, expecting a long day tmr.

Thursday is Homecoming. Yayz.

Finally, Friday! I think Cosmo peeps are gonna go sing Teoheng, which is really near my house. No need to travel (:

I'm a college girl now! :D/:(