2009

This could most probably be my last post of 2009.

It's been heartbreaking and tormenting, to say the least.
But along the thorns, the roses sprang up to save my days, to give me a hope and a future to look forward to (:

I'm so thankful for so many things.
Family, friends, God, Bryan, songs, the stars, my job, movies, opportunities...
The list is endless, really.
Everything and anything made 2009 possible, and regardless how horrible it was for the majority of the year (A Levels uurrggghhh),
The end of the year was spectacular.



All the people who've been the roses in my 2009 - thank you guys so much (:
(You know who you are - if you're thinking whether or not you are, you most definitely are one :D)

2010 will be much much better.
I know.
SOT, Uni, driving, a new cg, choir ministry - I can't wait.

It's gonna be our 3rd year, my love (:

2009 Reflection :D
Glad to see 2009 go? :
Yes. I can't wait to usher in 2010!

Age turned in 2009? :
18

Did you change your hair in 2009? How?:
Yup! I highlighted and dyed it (:

The best part of 2009? :
Finishing A Levels - the feeling was overwhelming.

The worst part of 2009? :
Enduring the three quarters of the year with A Levels.

Who will you never forget (or at least try not to)? :
E222. You guys are the best! :D

Who did you wish you did not meet in 2009? :
Hahaaaaa. Okay.

Did you have a partner in 2009? :
Yup! Since 2007 :D

Did you fall in love in 2009? :
Yes i did, over and over again.

Did you catch someone in a lie in 2009? :
Haha i caught Bryan bullshitting to me - an EPIC number of times.

Did you call them out? :
Every single time.

Did you get caught in a lie? :
Nope. Not this year.

Funniest moment of 2009? :
The endless random moments while studying. Sihui nagging at her sisters and thanking God it wasn't me, her neverending eating sprees (BROWNIES!), her rubbish statements that i take a turn against her (HAHA SCANDALOUS!) :D Just so many that i treasure.

Most embarrassing moment of 2009? :
Tripping on thin air, steps, pavements etc. Yawning loudly during math lecture - haha that was classic. Making weird noises while studying (:

Did you take any vacations in 2009? Where? :
Not that i rmb.

Any new hobbies of 2009? :
Started playing L4D (was it this year? or last year? :/).

Did you get a new job in 2009? :
Yup! (:

Did you lose a job in 2009? :
My occupation as a student was forfeited.

Did you host a party in 2009? :
Nope. Unless tmr's counted as a party. Hehe.

Where did most of your money go in 2009? :
Buying food while staying in school.

What song will always remind you of 2009? :
Paparazzi! :D Speechless and Bad Romance come second and third (:

What do you wish you’d done more of? :
Prayed and studied more.

What do you wish you’d done less of? :
Overstressing myself.

Biggest achievement in 2009? :
Didn't really achieve much. FAILURE YEAR! ):

Biggest failure in 2009 :
Hopefully it wont be anything to do with studies.

In 2009, did you lie to miss a day of work / school? :
HAHAHAHHAHAH SO MANY TIMES.

Did you move in 2009? :
Nope (:

Did you wish on a shooting star in 2009? :
Not this year, didnt see any.

What was your greatest musical discovery? :
That my voice belongs to soprano? -.-

What was the best book you read? :
My Sister's Keeper.

What was your favourite movie of the year? :
I can't rmb what shows came out this year - Dark Knight?

What did you want in 2009 and got?
An iPhone, a laptop of my own, new shoes, a good job, my own digicam, my makeup set(ish). My roses made out of money (:

What did you want in 2009 but didn’t get?
Shoes, bags, CDs, food, and an endless list of stuff. But well, it doesn't really matter cause i dont rmb what they are! :D

Did you make-out in public in 2009? :
Hahaaaa.

Who/What kept you sane? :
God and Bryan.

Who did you miss? :
Not alot of ppl. Haha, that's why i know from next year onwards i'll miss them like mad.

Who was the best new person you met?
If Sihui is considered new.. (:

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Having more L4D2 sessions. Haha kidding (: More time to fellowship would be awesome.

Did you drink too much in 2009? :
Nope. Never did. (:

Your favorite commercial of 2009? :
Was Heineken in 2009?

Something you couldn’t leave home without in 2009? :
My clothes.

How did you spend New Year’s 2009? :
At Pasir Ris Downtown East with Bryan (:

Valentines Day 2009? :
Bryan Yeo! :D

Easter 2009? :
Church!

Halloween 2009? :
I can't rmb. HAHA! Nothing much i think.

Thanksgiving 2009? :
Didn't even realise it was Thanksgiving hehe.

Christmas 2009? :
Church! :D

Your birthday? :
With the girls at Waraku (:

How do you plan to usher in the new year?
Hmm, not too sure. The last day of 2009 will be spent with awesome ppl though, i'm sure.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009 :
Even when you have nothing, nothing is something to be held onto.

THANK YOU GUYS! Have a Happy New 2010! :D

Everything's Going Well

Firstly, i've got a fabu job with fabu pay, working with fabu ppl and meeting fabu customers. (:

Secondly, i got into choir ministry.

Thirdly, my mummy's getting me the iphone tmr.

God's epic Christmas present for me.
I feel so blessed :D

someone once asked me

why am i so money-minded?

everything is always money
money
and more money.

i think,
when you've had it all,
and suddenly lost it all,
that's when you realise its true worth.

i may deem money as important,
but i dont love it.

Christmas 2009

What better place to celebrate Christmas, than in church? (:
Instead of getting wasted and totally missing out on the point of Christmas (LOVE, JOY, PEACE ANYONE?),
I spent a great Christmas with E222.
Just going to church early in the morning, and going off to Bryan's aunt's place to play Wii, Supreme Pig, Monopoly Card Game, Advanced 7 Up, Hee Hoo Huh and Big Fish Small Fish,
It's enough for any Christmas :D

Oh, PRATA FOR DINNER!!!

Looking through the pics of Xmas 2008 really just makes me feel so bittersweet.
So blessed by the fellowship, yet, just for a short 2 years, makes me feel sad.

So it's like moodswings: Happy sad happy sad happy sad emo happy.

Nonetheless, we've gone through our last svc together, our last cg together (i think), and soon we'll go through our last overnight pm together.
It was good while it lasted.

I'll miss you guys. :(

L-O-V-E

3rd year coming in 12 days time (:

So far working's been fine, just crazy tired every single day, cause i never go straight home from work.
I'll always be shopping, playing LAN, or eating dinner till late after work, which explains why even though i work so little im still exhausted ):

Today was Candlelight svc! :D
It's so weird how fast time flies, i still rmb Asia Conference last year (epic leg break) and Xmas alllll wrapped in one fine package of 2 months.
Now in 2009, A Levels are over, and im working already.
Gonna sit for my Basic Theory (soon) :D YAY DRIVE DRIVE VROOOM!!

So far, 2009 wasnt bad. It just went past too fast.

Im not gonna work alot alot for the end of the year, probably only on Monday next next week (:
Gotta spend the end of the year with all my loved ones - Bryan, family, E222, classmates, CCA mates and random ppl from everywhere.

PLACES TO GO!
SENTOSA
MARINA BARRAGE
BOTANIC GARDENS
SCIENCE CENTRE (i really really wanna ggoooooo)
ZOO (?)
Clubbb (???)

One thing's for sure, im going Marina Square tmr (:

Bringin' Home the Bacon

I'm so tired from working ):

TIRED TIRED TIRED TIRED TIRED!

Shall bathe and slp. Zzz.

Yay Xmas is finally here! (:

E222

Being in this cellgroup for 2 years has given me such great friends and leaders.
It really seems like only yesterday that we were playing Wii at Grace's place (i was all shy and stuff HAHA all fake one) :D
And at Sentosa on the eve of 2009, spending the afternoon getting sunburnt and crispy.
Countless of LAN fellowshipping and super early soccer/basketball sessions (which i never attended).
Late night dinners after cg and svc, htht on msn and on the phone.
Always lighting me up, even on my worse days - making me look forward to every Friday and Saturday.

THANK YOU
to this bunch of ppl who have made a huge difference in my life.


Even though i'm being multiplied out, away from the original cg and away from my connect group,
I don't ever want to lose friends like you all.
Life may be busy and as we grow older, starting to work and study in uni, we will not have the time to meet each other, especially when we start ministry.
But yet, let us never stop remembering the good times we had, and we have to make an extra effort to continue forging the good times ahead (:

To my Connect Group - Wong, Kaiqi and Sihui,
Thank you guys for always being there for me, always helping me fight the good fight of faith.
I'm really honored to have been in this connect group, especially with Wong Lao Da at the helm.
Now i'm being married out, i'll bring back many many many more ppl back, and i'll never forget that you guys were the ones who built my faith so strongly and never failed to be with me when i needed help.

To Wongsie, thank you.
Thank you for all the late night calls and prayers,
For the sharing of the Word, and your sacrifices,
Coming to my place with Char in the middle of the night when i was down,
For always being retarded and mad when darkness falls,
Making retro jokes and always huachiing abt guys who are *ahem*
I'll miss you ):

Now that im back home, words cant express the magnitude of loss i feel.
Although multiplication is good, something that is necessary for one's growth and the growth of the church,
It's just quite hard to say goodbye to something that you've been holding dear.

Goodbyes are hard.

to you

Sometimes, you don't have to use sarcasm to prove your point.

I hate it when you use that tone against me. You're an adult, you don't need that.

Attaching a newspaper article about "Internet Addiction" onto my laptop is not only juvenile, but extremely insulting.

When asked what that meant - "It's just informative. I don't mean anything."

When you always ALWAYS tell me in a hostile voice to go and sleep (at 3am), you're reading the newspaper with the tv on, telling me that sleeping late is bad for my health.
And then carry on telling me that i deserve to be sick, coughing and having pimples on my face.

You tell me not to smoke with a cigarette in your hand.

Im so scared when you're watching religious shows on Discovery Channel, cause you'll take a point from the show and question me with it - as if i was the one who actually produced that programme.
I fear when you're home, because you WANT to prove my belief wrong, and i dont want to argue anymore.
When i defend my belief, you say im being rude, disrespectful, brainwashed by the church.
You laugh, mock, and scoff at me when i say anything.
When i dont say anything, you presume that you're right, and that i admit that my belief is wrong when i keep quiet.

Buddhism, Islam and Christianity are the same.
The Bible is written by man.
Adam and Eve's children committed incest. That's wrong.

I don't want to talk abt theology, because God is so unconventional. So to you, it's rubbish.
You tell me you're a Christian, but you havent attended church in 30 years.
You believe that the Islam God is the same God Christians worship, and you don't believe in the bible.

I don't understand that.

At one point in time, i hated you.
I admitted it to ppl, and got scolded really really badly.
I reflected, and from then on, i told myself to honour God's commandment, no matter how hard it is.

I try to be respectful to you, regardless how much you nag at me and don't practise what you preach.
It's hard, and i really don't want to argue anymore.

I was so insulted just now, spewed vulgarities while ranting to mummy.
She told me to relax, and not be provoked so easily (HAHA SHE'S SO MUCH MORE CALM THAN ME AND ACTUALLY ASKED ME TO CHILL, PRAISE GOD :D).
I was so pissed off, so so so pissed off.

Now, i don't really know whether to be indifferent or what.
I want to respect you as my daddy, but sometimes, it seems impossible.

Unrecognisable

With my brown hair, ppl say i look different.
Which is good.

Cause now i dont have to say hi to ppl i dont want to.

And it's cool how they walk past you, look you in the eye, and carry on with life as if you've never been there.

This beat be bumpin' bumpin'

Yesterday was my first time in a club, Supperclub to be exact.

First off, beds are weird. Especially when they're all connected - it's like, random ppl can just roll past you.
Secondly, the dance floor was. so. small. Puny, even.
The whole first floor was just jammed with dancers (some crazy ppl - really wasted, those few) and some ppl doing.. err, stuff.

It's all fun and games till someone gets hurt. But well, in a club, you CAN and you WANT to lose your inhibitions, which some ppl did.

Even though i sound like im on a moral rant and everything, i really totally crazily enjoyed myself.
Cause i didnt get really high/drunk/tipsy, and i was clear-headed the whole time, so i knew what was going on and didnt embarrass myself (except when my heel got stuck and tripped on the way out of the club -.-).
People were dirty-dancing, making out, getting high, puking and rolling down stairs.
Yea, thank God i wasnt one of them.

And Sihui told me two guys were making out on the dance floor. Yup.

At the same time, it was quite entertaining watching your schoolmates get wasted.
Although i was thinking like "how are they gonna get a cab back man", it was quite funny watching ppl get tipsy and start loosening their outfits and like.. start gyrating at places NOT on the dancefloor (it was super duper mad packed with tons and tons of ppl).

Random ppl dirty-dancing with each other. Ugh.

And advice to girls going to Supperclub, please dont go up the stairs if you're wearing dresses/short skirts.
The stairs are glass, and the top floor parapet is just made up of many wires together.
So if you decide to go upstairs, it's like free show for the guys below.

I sound like my mum. GGGAAWWDD.

Still, i wanna go clubbing next weeeek :D :D :D :D
My only concern is that it's expensive, and im afraid i may not have the awareness to protect myself from ppl who arent SA guys (who are honestly quite decent - as in, they dont attempt to grope/molest girls).

Oh well, bring Bryan with me, personal bodyguard :D
And dont go Supperclub, small dancefloor ):

My entire day went like this:
(It's totally hedonistic :D)

Bryan and I met for NYDC - wah, their choc cheese cake is HEAVEENNN~
Then we went to play arcade, and LAN at Bugis (played Dark Carnival and saw CLOWNS YAY).
We walked to Macs at Odeon Towers there, and slacked and ate for an hour before going into the club (:

I was in the club from 11pm till 3am and drank a few complimentary drinks.
Whiskey and vodka housepours - whiskey was unexpectedly nice :D
Danced awhile, chilled, drank, then danced again, chilled, drank, repeat.
After a while it got quite monotonous, cause i wanted to go dance but the dancefloor was packed like sardines. Really.
So, Bryan and I walked to Arab St to shisha, but it was closed (DUH, 4am, which place would be open right? Oh right, clubs).
Then we took a cab back home.

Slept from 6am to 3pm, SHIOKKKKKK :D
Although when i woke up, my ENTIRE body was aching.
Alcohol can really suppress bodily pain uh (:
(I was in my heels for SO LONG, my feet would have hurt by 12am, but they didnt! :D)

WHO WANTS TO GO CLUBBING NEXT WEEK?!?!!
Thurs/Fri im freeeeeeeee :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Call me call me yay :D

*************************************************************************************

*BACK TO REALITY!*
I have work tmr, so i should slp early. Ugh.
Goodnight everyone! :D

BOOMZ

Crazy bunch of ppl who're crashing SA prom tmr :D

Even after A Levels, my pimples are non-tirelessly bombarding my face.
(They won't leave me alone! BLAH)
But right now, i just wish for my cough to BEGONE! cause i really need to get well for my activities next week (:
Prayer meetings every morning, postprom on mon night to tues morning, work on wed and fri (i'm doing opening! ):) and hopefully thurs left empty to spend with bryan :D

Now i just pray for Bryan to get a job himself, cause he's experiencing the same thing i've been getting the past few years - doors slammed shut in the face.
But when one door is closed, another is opened, RIGHT RIGHT!? :D

Yup. So life's not bad now.
Good job, good pay.
Tiring, but at least it ain't a 9 to 5, and although i have a test next next week, at least my brain wont rot THAT much :D
And my alcohol knowledge go BOOMZ through the roof yay (:
Plus, i get to spend time with bryan whenever im not down for work, which is awesome. :D

I'm happy. (:

BIG HAPPPYY PICTURE!!!

):

I have like, a test next next week during work.

According to my sister, I'll be tested:
- country of origin and alcohol percentage of ALES, SPIRITS, WINES, HOUSEPOURS and BEERS.
- service milestones (4 phases and 13 points) + random shit
- ingredients and sauces of food served

An example of the ingredients of ONE dish:
TRADITIONAL ROAST BEEF
2 thick slices of roast ribeye served with mash potatoes, daily veg ( 2 carrots, shittake and button mushrooms and 1 broccoli), brown gravy, yorkshire pudding roast potatoes and horse radish!

Another one!
BANGERS AND MASH
2 sausages (one herb BIG and one harris pork SMALL), mash potatoes, onion gravy and cherry tomato /2!

OMG. Yah.
Then, Heineken is from Holland, 5% alcohol, lager beer.
Old Speckled Hen is from England, 5.2% alcohol, ale.
Kilkenny is from Ireland, 4.3% alcohol, ale.
AND MORE!

Gosh, machiam A Level again.
UGHHHH.

Much Better

Work today was much better, I finally got the hang of it! :D (ish, haha)
Although, i still have alot to memorise abt product knowledge - BEERS WINES SPIRITS ALES HH NH, and FOOODDDD omggggg.

But yea, i felt much better today.

I'm still feeling sick :/
My nose started feeling runny, my throat hurt and my feet ache. Boo.

Today baby ended his A Levels! (Like finally :D)
I just hope i can help him get a job, a really really good job that he deserves (:

And tmr's the end of a long long long working week.
FINALLYYYYY. It's been quite torturous and tiring. Boooo.

I know this post is random, but im too tired to form coherant paragraphs.

I feel like eating chendol and ham ):

And work isn't JUST taking "simple orders" k!
It's much more, much much more.

Like i said, the $7.50 isn't easy to earn.

TIREDDDDDDDD

OMG

Working these past two days, i can only say one thing:



This $7.50/hr isn't easy to earn.

Just tmr and Friday, and i'm gonna take a long long holiday off till next Wed :D
(Cause Monday and Tuesday must do Appreciation Gifts and got Post Prom woots!)
Then see whether i wanna work on Thursday not (got chua outing yay :D)!

So if it all works out, i'm gonna work only on Wed and Fri :D
(Earn lesser, but less tired - not like now, i'm like gonna die already cause i got cough and flu).

I've gotta go slp, cause i got work at 10.30am again tmr, and 11.30am on Friday.
Yay for short working hours!
Boo for tired feet and leaky nose and painful throat ):

ONE KICKASS HUGE PICTURE OF MY NEW HAIR :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

I don't care if it's act cute or what, i look nice here (HAHA ANGSTY)!

And to those who say i look like lian: I dont care bleahhhhhhh
:D

10 Replies to Yesterday's Random

1. I want ham.

2. Yup, she was surprised.

3. LAN was so tiring - 3 hours straight! YAWWWNNN

4. Im thirsty. And my throat hurts from shouting too much from LAN. Got choir audition tmr lehhhhh ):

5. I shall not upload pics today. Too tired.

6. My mum didnt lose her naggy. WWHHYYYYYYYYY

7. I have no time for ppl who refuse to take advice and change themselves, even though the same thing has been said over and over and over again!

8. Yay i like my hair. Doesn't matter what ppl say~~~

9. My mum's lodging a complaint against the hairsalon that dyed our hair. It's all dry and gross.

10. Bryan Yeo dont want go study huhhhhhhh :D (Haha kidding, he's been studying the whole day :D)

10 Random Things at 2.27am

1. IM SO HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

2. I bet Sihui will be surprised tmr :D

3. YAY LAN TMR NIGHT

4. Im still hungry. Sigh ):

5. I DONT LIKE FB! Just when im abt to finish uploading 200 pictures, they tell me "UPLOAD FAILED" rarrrrrrrr

6. My mummy reattained her naggy today. Hope she loses it tmr.

7. Sigh. More secrets.

8. HAHHAHA I LOOK SO STUPID IN SEC 4!!!

9. Bleach (as in the real chemical, not the manga) has ruined my hair. RARRGH.

10. BRYAN YEO STILL DONT WANT GO SLP HUHHHH


And there you have it, 10 random things.

Evil Bryan

N: Hey babe, what if i grow like obese fat after we get married and stuff?

B: Huh, i'll be :( lor

N: But i thought you said that you'll love me no matter what? ):

B: But then my love for you will be less concentrateed
B: Coz its the same amount of love
B: Over a greater surface area
B: And that's nott goooood


Sigh.

Look there! A star, I want to be just like it.
It has its own glow, its own shine,
It's not like mine - Man-made, blinking, dying.

Estella! You're dancing on the milky way!
How is it like?
To be beautiful, and cold at the same time?
To be warm, yet far away?

Apollo! You were catapulted here!
Made with loving hands, sent here to learn.
And, to be brought back down,
Back into those loving hands.

Estella! Your beauty exceeds all Man could ever do!
Your lights shines brighter than the Sun itself!
Me - I blink. I flicker. I fault.
I do no more than what I'm told to do.

Apollo! Your name brings hope and light!
You are the Sun upon Man - its giant leap.
I stay here, useless and degraded.
Shining for darkness stretching for ever.

Look there! A satellite, I want to be just like it.
It blinks and changes, never stuck.
It's not like me - dying.

***************************************************************

Juxtaposed.
Ironic, moronic.
Changing colours, fading light.
Who wins, when the grass is greener on the other side?

Speechless

NEW SHOES, NEW HAIR.

I'M HAPPY (:

************************************************************
And now! I shall finally admit!

I'M A GAGA ADDICT (:
I can't stop watching her perform on youtube cause she's like DAMN FRIKIN' AMAZING :D
Today i bought Gaga-eque shoes and im like super proud of them (though Bryan hates them BLEAH!).

I keep getting hooked onto her songs, and i dont know why :/
At first i hated Speechless, but now i cant stop listening to it :D

If I promise to you boy
That I’ll never talk again
And I’ll never love again
I’ll never write a song
Won’t even sing along

I’ll never love again
So speechless
You left me speechless, so speechless
Why you so speechless, so speechless?

*stop here if you dont want to hear me continue crazing over her*

I think the reason why im so crazy over Gaga is probably cause not only is she talented,
She went through shit to get to where she is today (:
Played in clubs and such, wrote songs for top singers (Britney Spears, Pussycat Dolls etc), but never received credit for it.
And somemore her voice is damn good, AND she sings live!!
And her stamina is CRAZY!
Wont pant when she sings & dances & does those mad stage theatrics - she's like, Amazonian.
She's filial somemore cause she tweeted abt her dad and gave him a massage when he was in the hospital (HAHA IM SO GULLIBLE, BUT STILL).

AND! She set a grand piano on fire! (:
WHO DOES THAT?

Yes, I'm Gaga-mad.


LADY GAGA - SPEECHLESS

I can’t believe what you said to me
Last night we were alone
You threw your hands up
Baby you gave up, you gave up

I can’t believe how you looked at me
With your James Dean glossy eyes
In your tight jeans with your long hair
And your cigarette-stained lies

Could we fix you if you broke?
And is your punch line just a joke?

I’ll never talk again
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless

I'll never long again
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless

I can’t believe how you slurred at me
With your half-wired broken jaw
You popped my heart seams
On my bubble dreams, bubble dreams

I can’t believe how you looked at me
With your Johnnie Walker eyes
He’s gonna get you and after he’s through
There’s gonna be no love left to rye

And I know that it’s complicated
But I’m a loser in love
So baby raise a glass to mend
All the broken hearts
Of all my wrecked up friends

I’ll never talk again
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless so speechless

I’ll never love again,
Oh friend you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless

How?
How?
How?

How?
How?
How?

And after all the drinks and bars that we’ve been to
Would you give it all up?
Could I give it all up for you?

And after all the boys and the girls that we’ve been through
Would you give it all up?
Could you give it all up?

If I promise boy to you

That I’ll never talk again
And I’ll never love again
I’ll never write a song
Won’t even sing along
I’ll never love again

So speechless
You left me speechless, so speechless

Will you ever talk again?
Oh boy, why you so speechless?
You’ve left me speechless
So speechless

Some men may follow me
But you choose “death and company”
Why you so speechless?

OKAY

So A's are over.
HAHAHAHAHHAA OMG IM SO HAPPY I COULD JUST LIKE PRANCE AROUND ORCHARD IN NOTHING ELSE BUT MY NOTES GLUED ON MY BODEEEHHHHH.
Then i'll burn them. Muahaha.

I dyed my hair today too.
It's a tad too light for my liking, but apparently my family says it's quite nice, so yea.

A ghostly picture

I figured what i want for Christmas!
FINALLY - I WANT SOMETHING FOR CHRISTMAS (:

LADY GAGA: THE FAME MONSTER
(Inclusive of The Fame tracks)


I listen to Monster the whole entire dayyyyy， and i want to listen to all her other tracks [Alejandro, Dance in the Dark, Teeth, Telephone] without being pirate-ish.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS GAGA ):

[Candlelight svc and such is a given lah, of course :D]

I've got my entire week packed with stuff (not exactly lah, -ish)
Job interview, manipedi, shopping, plus my cuzzie's wedding coming up this Sat whoosh!
I can't wait for post A's activities to begin! :D

P.S The word -ish is something like a filler, -ish.
Hahaaaaaaaaa... *Awkward silence*

Chemically Deficient

Hello, this random thought just popped out of my head while i was practising for Chem Paper 1 (:








I HATE CHEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

THANK GOD IT'S GONE FOREVERRRRRR FROM TMR ONWARDS!!!!
YAY FOR THE OFFICIAL END OF A LEVELS WOOOOHOOOOOO :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

I'm never gonna take Chem the rest of my life again.
Ever.
Never ever.
Ever.

Stupid chemically-deficient brain.

I should have asked this two weeks ago, but...
CHEM ADDITION PLS TAKE PLACE IN MY BRAIN TMR (Or substitution cause every other subject is over)!

[This post might just come back to haunt me, God forbid :/]

OOohhhhhH.

I'm going for Econs Paper 1 now! WISH ME LUCK :D :D :D :D

And i blogged just to remind myself that i had a nightmare involving Satis House, Miss Havisham, Estella, and zombies.
I'll update later. (:

CIIAAAOOOO

****************************************************************
UPDATE (:

Gosh im sssoooo tired! ):
Went to Plaza Sing with Bryan today to celebrate our (almost) freedom! :D
I was rummaging through my entire pig sty of a room and i couldnt find my makeupppp ommggggg
That only means one thing - it's time to clear my room!

And after half an hour, nothing seems to change.
Although, it feels super mad good to just chuck alllll those tutorials and extra notes into my recycling/karang guni box!!!!!!
The only thing i kept are my math notes, econs notes, and chem notes (cause still got paper 1 D:).

TO ANY J1S READING!
I have econs prelim packages from other JCs which are like highlighted and stuff with abit of handwriting in it!
If you want call me or pm me on msn then i'll pass to you for freeeeee (:

[It's not even considered sporadic dumping cause i'm not even charging!
It costs $12.50 k! :D :D :D]

So anyway, i ate Just Acia with Bryan.
I ate so much till i felt like puking ):
(Which is like good, cause since A Levels started my appetite shrunk considerably = lose weight yay!)

During Econs Telephone was like running through my head nonstop!
STOP CALLIN' STOP CALLIN' I DONT WANNA THINK ANYMORE
I LEFT MY HEAD AND MY HEART ON THE DANCE FLOOR
STOP CALLIN' STOP CALLIN' I DONT WANNA TALK ANYMORE
I LEFT MY HEAD AND MY HEART ON THE DANCE FLOOR
EH EH EH EH EH EH EH EH EH EH STOP TELEPHONIN' ME
EH EH EH EH EH EH EH EH EH EH EH EH EH EH EH

HELLO HELLO BABY YOU CALLED I CANT HEAR A THING
I HAVE GOT NO SERVICE IN THE CLUB YOU SEE, SEE
WHAT WHAT WHAT DID YOU SAY NOW YOU'RE BREAKING UP ON ME
SORRY I CANNOT HEAR YOU IM KINDA BUSY!

Gaga is so catchy (:

And regarding my dream, i figured it wasnt funny anymore, so im not gonna blog abt it :D
YYYYYAAAWWWWNNNNN.
I'm gonna go for Bryan's street soccer match tmr.. Gotta slp earleeehhhh.
NIGHT NIGHT (:

Random Revelation (:

Just because we're not perfect, doesn't mean we can make up excuses to not strive to be perfect.

[If there's anything like this in the Bible, tell me k! I wanna see :D]

*******************************************************************
Updated!
Bryan was a total asshole today!

B: Today's a Friday!
N: *dazed* Noooo... It's Thursday!
B: It's Friday, today's the 20th.
N: Where got.. Yesterday was.. Err.. I took econs yesterday!
B: YAH! The paper is today, i went for exam before meeting you.
N: *heart skips a beat* EHHHH DONT BLUFF LEHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
B: Sumpak. (:
N: EH! The paper is in the afternoon and it's only 1pm DONT BLUFF!!!!!!! 0.0

Tell me, where got boyfriends freak their girlfriends out like this?

:D

This is like, my 3rd last paper!!! :D
(I know i sound like im gloating and like kicking dust into those who end on 3rd Dec's face, but im honestly just like, really elated - hope i dont offend anyone ): )

There's Econs Paper 1 and Chem Paper 1 left!
OMGYAYBBBBQQQQQQQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anw, today's Econs Paper was quite..
Err..
...
Yea, that's abt it.
I don't even know whether i did well or not.
I just wrote what i could, so hopefully that's enough.
(In restropect, i thought i'd do well for my econs prelims too, but i ended up with a moderated C, so there.)

And this blog is getting so boring!
All abt EXAMS EXAMS EXAMS only! ):
I'll blog abt something else next week (after Monday), promise (:

I'm looking forward to freedom - but after freedom, what's next?
People are just so weird, once they attain freedom, they find things to chain them back down again (like working, going on a holiday - yes that's considered chaining yourself, especially if you're going backpacking, so troublesome and not to mention scary).
But well, any chain is better than the study chain.
(I know ppl who beg to differ cause they claim the NS chain is much more unbearable :D)

Random note:
Where do all the SA ppl disappear to after papers?
It's like, when Sihui and I come out of the toilet, the whole cohort vanishes.
Seriously.
There's noone in the cafe, library, or even in the toilets.
The whole place is like deserted with only the J1s left.
It's quite freaky, and makes you wonder how fast they actually walk after papers to completely disappear out of school within 15 minutes. (They're not even at the bus stop, jeez!)
So yea, apparently SA kinda doesnt have a life during A Levels ):

Random note 2!
I'm gonna memorise this speech after A Levels and impress/freak people out :D

"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

Sigh, so long.

let it go

let it roll right off your shoulder

(:

Yay! It's 6 more days to liberation :D

Lit today was good, the questions came out much much much much easier than expected.

Chem paper 2, well, let's just say there was NO electrochem, no ksp, no ionic frikin eqm,

Yup, Cambridge's pretty weird this year.

They do not have the concept of being moderate.

Now im totally in no mood to study econs.

Haven't touched it in abt 2 weeks and tmr's paper 2! (ESSAY GGGAAWWWDDDD).

But well, after tmr and friday, i'll be (sort of) a free woman! :D

(There's still chem paper 1 on monday, but i kinda screwed chem up already, so hopefully i'll be able to get like, a B? Hopefully ): *cross fingers*)

Econs econs why do you torment me ssssoooooo.

My faithful sony ericsson of 3 years totally died on me today, couldn't last past A levels ):

Oh well, i'll use some cameraless phone first before my mum gets me a new phone after A's :D

Can't wait for A's to be over and done with!

Gonna colour my hair and go clubbing and do nonsense all day loooonnnnggggggg!!!!

Oh, and get a new phone, definitely.

OH! And go Sentosa, plus watch movies!

AND AND AND LIKE, GO OUT LIKE MADWOMAN!

AND GO SHOPPPPIIINNGGGGGGG

Fantasizing much.

Time for econs.

(On a side note, why didn't they put paper 1 first? Once again, emphasizing my point that Cambridge is crazy this year).

************************************************************************

N: SIHUI SIHUI I GOT SLIM DOWN NOT?!!!!!

S: Huh, errr.. I dunno how to see leh.

N: HAVE RIGHT HAVE RIGHT? SEE SEE SEE!!!!! :D

S: Huh orh yah have. (so patronising -.-)

Haha yes as long as i stay to my strict all books diet i shall lose weight exponentially!

LOSE WEIGHT LOSE WEIGHT (:

Update On A Levels

Tmr's Math Paper 2 - FINALLY, MATH CAN BE OUT OF MY LIFE.

Today was Chem Paper 3, and yesterday was GP, the day before was Math Paper 1.
I've always regarded examinations as a trivial thing, cause i mean, it doesn't ultimately determine your future.
Right?
RIGHT?

But i've noticed a pattern throughout my twelve years of education.
It's always -
Step One: try to chiong as much as possible.
Step Two: Take a deep breath and walk into the exam hall and "do your best".
Step Three: Enjoy life.
Step Four: Get back results and - Cry.

ALWAYS.

PSLE, 247 - CRY.
O Levels was fine, i got what i wanted.
But i cried when i got the posting (It wasn't cause of me, it was cause of Bryan, cause he couldn't get into SA)

Now im sleepless, im tired, and im sick of studying.
Because gut feeling tells me, i screwed up GP and i fraked Chem up.
My gut feeling has always proven to be wrong (time and again my instincts fail me), but now, i'm not so sure whether or not im right.
I hope im wrong.

Im so scared that i cant get rid of all my papers.
Those vile excuses of trees are burying me alive and i literally have to BURROW my way through them.


My greatest fear: Having to retake this damn exam.

OMG

CAMBRIDGE IS TULAN THIS YEAR.

Heart-Pounding, Breath-Taking

Alright, so after yesterday's crazy fit was over,
Today i started feeling the pressure.
Like, pressure. (I wanted to put in the physics formula but i have no idea so ya, just a checklist for all you physics students out there :D)

I cannot wait for it to end, but it feels weird to be starting tmr.
ALL the preparation in the world would never be sufficient.
But well, good luck to EVERYONE taking A Levels, whether you're awesome, or just average (HAHAHHAAHA).
Good luck to those who got straight As, and those who didn't get straight As.
God bless (:

May the flame of a thousand suns be in the presence of the moonlight flowers.
(I DUNNO WHAT THIS MEANS BUT I JUST FINISHED WATCHING THE LAST SAMURAI -
MUST.. INJECT.. NATURE.. IMAGERY...)

A LEVELS!

KAMIKAZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A LEVELS ARE HERE
HERE
HERE
HERE
HERE
HERE

I truly, spiritly, crazily, enthusiastically CANNOT WAIT for it to be SO OVER.
SO SO SO OVER!
Then life can be normal again - NO BOOKS, NOTES, NUUHHTHANG!

(Yes i'm quite high, only because i've been doing math for 6sixSIX hours!)

But i think in hindsight, i'm gonna miss studying.
Cos like, that's all i've been doing since.. June this year, right?
So yea, it'll be hard adjusting back to civilian life (too many army friends can influence you haha!).
But im looking forward to it.

ONWARD!!

UGH

Y'know how sometimes, your elders just like to put you down and make you feel stupid?
Yes, i'm not as smart as my brother or my sister and hence i need to take more tuition and hence i should get better grades right?
Right?
I mean, all that money wasted eh?

Next time, think before you speak.

Infected Outbreak!

No lah, nothing to do with L4D2.

I'm talking abt my face :/
I havent gotten such a bad outbreak since.. Ever.
MAKEUP MAKEUP COME TO MEEEE!

So I haven't been updating often cause i've been like, STUDYING.
A Levels is in exactly a week's time,
AND IT'S ENDING IN 3 WEEKS TIME OMGGGGGGG CANNOT FRIKIN WAIT!
I honestly feel that i could've done much better for A Levels,
But ah well, too late for regrets, and it's not like Cambridge gives a shit either (:
Just go in with what i've got, and give it my best shot :D

And even if it doesn't look okay, it's gonna be okay :D

So i've fallen sick, and gotten a platitude of nightmares over A Levels.
Right now i wanna stomp on it's metaphoric face and throw it into a fiery pit of doomish helllllll.
Yup.

Back to studying! :D
When i hear this song, all i can remember - is you.

2 Timothy 2:11-13

"Here is a trustworthy saying:

If we died with him,
we will also live with him;
if we endure,
we will also reign with him.
If we disown him,
he will also disown us;
if we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself."

2 Timothy 2:11-13

Faeries Crossword

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."
James 1:19-20

Hello everyone!
It's been a week, so you're probably wondering where i've been, right? Right? :D
If i said i wasnt studying i'd probably be called into Grace's Secret Chamber for a 'talk' 0.0
Anywho, yes i've been studying. But tonight, since it's Tuesday, i decided to do a little bit of instropection (:
(I know that has totally no link, but lalalaaaa)

I was just thinking: How is it, that with all my sarcasm, i've managed to not get my pants up in a knot for almost a year?
When i'm angry, i know my sarcasm is almost unparallelled, and i tend to spew words all over ppl (Bryan especially) when im mad and just plain crazy (insane, kuku, witch-like).'
So, how have i been able to pass this year without insulting (almost) anyone?

I credit it all to God.

I'm still quick to speak, honestly, sometimes words just come out of my pie-hole like a spring of insanity.
It's near impossible for me to sit down and THINK before i speak - which often results in me offending ppl, unintentionally and intentionally.

When you're quick to speak like me, leave a certain degree of ambiguity in your speech.
That way, before you say something, you gotta think of how to make yourself seem epicly intelligible (like Confucius).
And, if you cant seem to bend your words around what you gotta say - then, just keep thinking (:

I know this goes against the Law of Straightforwardness (Niuten's 2nd Law) and against those ppl who advocate SPEAK YOUR MIND AND DONT BE HYPOCRITICAL blah blah,
But, i'd rather not be myself, than sacrifice the relationship i have with a friend by being straightforward.
And hypocriticism only happens when you say one thing, but do another.
How is not speaking your mind and preserving a friendship hypocritical? I have no idea.
Unless you really dont like the person, then just dont be friends lah, just be acquaintances, right?

And now i think im ranting. But yea, this is in response to ppl whom i find have crossed the line of being overbearing and are just plain annoying, immature, and lamezordon.
Life does not centre around a stupid ball, it centres around God.
And come on, carry the Cross (God and ppl) and let's not ruin relationships by becoming fanatics (fanatics, not fans) of stupid Faeries Crossword.

So what if Maddy Uzenbaum lost the fight?
So what if Lilynette won?
There's just no call or basis to insult either side, and pls, if you're gonna call Maddy a loser and be all crazy 'in-your-face' about it, think of her family and friends - who are your friends too.
And if they're sore abt losing, what makes you think sore winners dont exist as well?
Plus, responding to sore ppl makes you a sorer^100000000 person.
Then a whole debacle explodes, goes boomz, and then noone wins.
In this case, just, keep, quiet.

Why?

BECAUSE THE WHOLE THING WAS LAME TO BEGIN WITH.
JUST WATCH THE STUPID SHOW, AND LGO.

Hit Me Baby One More Time

My ggaawwddd.
There're so many stupid mock papers and lit seminars and random tuition lessons! ):
They're making me feel like im so inadequate for A Levels.

But as Samuel said, you'll never feel prepared enough for A Levels.

******************************************************************
Bryan's Blonde Moments (:

B: So right, the guy thought he saw a lion, actually, it was a flaming lion.
N: Which guy?
B: The guy lah, y'know, the one who saw a lion and named us Singapura.
N: WHAT'S HIS NAME? :D
B: Errr.. I know what's his name lah, don't tell you (:
N: Say say what's his name :D
B: Aiyah some USAMA right?
N: USAMAAAAA????!!! (ROFLMAO)

6th February

Is Bryan's enlistment date.

Hahahaha BOTAK TIME!!!!!! :DDDDDDDD

Come What May

After Saturday, I kept thinking abt it.
I told myself not to - but it's kinda hard when you're just so uncertain abt everything.

Right now for A Levels, I keep telling myself that my outlook determines my outcome,
My constant comparison with imba ppl isn't gonna help me any more.
It's self-motivation, self-determination and self-discipline.

Whatever the future holds, no matter how unstable and daunting it may seem,
I have to trust Grace's better judgment, that I know she does things for a reason.
I also have to trust Bryan, that he'll love me no matter what happens.
And also, I have to trust God, because regardless the circumstance, He allows things to happen to mould me to become a better person, and He allows things to happen to mould our relationship.

It's hard to trust anything and anyone especially when things like these are determined for you.
But instead of resenting the facts and the perhaps inevitable,
Let's just place absolute trust in God's hands, let's offer absolute abandonment and obedience to Him.

Everything's gonna be alright.

Tame My Ever-Wand'ring Heart

Tmr's the last day of school.

So I've been thinking alot this week, in lieu of my graduation.
Thinking of what I've done wrong and right.
Thinking of the ppl I've met - those who have passed me by, and those who have remained in my life.
Like Sihui said, "You have to choose the ppl who are gonna stay in your life, and those who pass by, pass by."

It's like these two years just flew past.
From OG, to PAE, to Council, to JAE, to Famine Camp, to God knows where I've been to.

The very first time I donned on the SAJC uniform (:

I've changed so much during my stay here.
So many ups and downs, lots of downs that have made me more stronger, more independent and less childish (:
So to those friends from SAJC who actually read my blog, thanks for being here to share my two years.
To those I've offended, I'M SORRY.

And, let's take pictures tmr! :DDDDDD

******************************************************************
On a hind note, I'm pretty worried abt the future.
Talking with Sihui today made me realise that there are so many uncertainties that lie in our way after A Levels.
Yes, I know I should only be thinking of A Levels now, but let me just empty my troubles out first (:

After A Levels, I'm gonna feel quite lost.
The routine that the educational system has subjected me to for the past 12 years of my life are gone.
For me, I habituate - So routine stays routine. So when routine's gone, I'm lost.
During University, it's gonna be Own Time Own Target, not something I'm really familiar with.

After A Levels, I'm gonna have to get a job.
I'm not even sure what I wanna go work as - and like a drama queen, always ask myself: WHAT'S MY MOTIVATION? (Y'know how pre-madonnas love to pester their director and stuff)
I'm just praying for God to open doors for me, to earn lots of money so I can do what I need to do in my holiday.

After A Levels, E222 is gonna multiply.
Regardless of whether I get multiplied out, or stay in the cellgroup, it's gonna be the same.
That same feeling of loss - when you lose ppl dear to you, when you lose ppl you've become accustomed to.
I know it's definitely for the better, but getting detached from something that you're attached to is gonna hurt.
I'm really not looking forward to the inevitable.

After A Levels, I have to think of what course and which Uni to go to.
That really sucks, cause I have no clue what I wanna do. Not even in the future - in the near near future.
I'm clueless.

After A Levels, Bryan is going to Army, and I'm going to Uni.
This doesn't really help things along, does it?
It's just self-explanatory - and quote Othello, "a monster that feeds upon itself" - the more you think abt it, the more worried you are, because new situations just emerge out of nowhere due to my fertile imagination.

Ugh. Jesus tells us not to worry, but aahhhhhhh.

When You Say Nothing At All

It was nice last night.
Didn't worry abt not finishing my chem, or that i couldnt do questions from an easy paper.
It was just us.

And sometimes, some things are just better left unsaid.

Job 23:10

"BUT HE KNOWS THE WAY THAT I TAKE
WHEN HE HAS TESTED ME, I WILL COME FORTH AS GOLD."

To many ppl out there, thank you for being there.
And to many others, keep on keeping on.

"They are all but stomachs, and we all but food;
They eat us hungerly, and when they are full,
They belch us."
- Emilia

Othello Act 3 Scene 4

I'm totally taking this quote out of context.
Right now, I feel like a piece of belched cowgrass.

I dont know how many young adults my age face the same problem i have.
Not many, i fathom.
Every day you wake up, and it's just THERE. It never goes away.
It smacks you right in the face everywhere you go - the problem NEVER goes away, it never disappears.
The worse thing is: You can't do anything abt it.

I guess, this is the best cure for materialism.
Having nothing.

Lameness Begets Lameness

Iron Man by ~CyrilTheWizard

One more week, and i'll be graduating from SAJC.
It's quite hard to fathom that feeling, especially when i can still rmb stepping into SA for the very first time (CLICHE I KNOW).
It's even weirder that in these two short years, i feel like i've grown so much more as a person - one who has been through more, much more, than one would ever imagine.
Learning how to be more independent while learning to depend on God at the same time,
Learnt how to appreciate friends more,
Learning abt committment, love and all things beautiful (:

J1:
Orientation, Joanne, OG5,
PAE with 08A05 was just SPECTACULARLY AWESOME,
Going thru JAE and somehow not clicking with my class,
Council elections and crazyass camps and meetings and rehearsals,
Tough times with Bryan, as well as with results :/

J2:
Leading Orientation with OG32, more council stuff.
Clicking more with the ppl around me and the ppl i know, and basically, just coming out of the shell i retreated to in J1.

Yes, J2 passed by in a flash.
I've come to terms with that (:
And soon, next Thursday will be here.
FAREWELLLLLL.

Agitates ma Socks

Grrr.
It was such a craptastic day.

Firstly, i woke up at 4.30am and witnessed my two pet dogs MURDER a kitten.
A CUTE, FURRY, KITTEN.
They toyed and bit it till it died.
Then i kept crying while out with bryan, who was like, errrrr it's alright, the kitten's with the ceiling cat now.
I'd retort and say "THERE IS NO CEILING CAT!!!! BWWWWWAAAAAA!!!!"
Yea, it's like random crying, but im seriously traumatised.
I mean, i SAW THE KITTEN DIE.
DIE. BEFORE MY VERY EYES.
MURDERED BY MY TWO PET DOGS. Now i cant even look or pet at them already ):

Secondly, there was this damn auntie who was so irritating at Tampines One kopitiam.
Ughhhhh.

Thirdly, i spent 20 min in the toilet and my dad started complaining to my mum who complained to me and shot me dirty looks.
I was seriously WTF.
I mean, if you want your children to stop doing such "inconsiderate things", the best way to teach - is to do it yourself.
If you want your kids to be considerate, you should be considerate yourself.
I guess, my dad doesn't understand that obvious and simple concept.

Argh. Damn bad day.

************************************************************************
updated! (: i totally forgottttttt!

After a year of wearing a pair of sneakers i bought 4 years ago,
Bryan bought me a new pair today at Tampines One (:
If you know me in school you'll probably see how terok my old ones were. :/
I love my new off-white sneakers, and i love the person who bought them for me! :D

P.S: My mum told me it's not good for your partner to buy a pair of shoes for you, so apparently i have to pay Bryan 20 cents back or something.
If i don't, one of us will "run away" from the other - Which is quite funny now that you think of it. Ha, i'm not one for superstition :D
Bryan thinks otherwise - Since he bought me those shoes, apparently "i belong to him" and "shoes won't run away from their owners" or something like that. YAH RIGHT.
THEY'RE. JUST. SHOES. (:
Love shoes, but shoes :D

WAKE UP!!

It's such a dreary Sunday.
The sun is beating down, and i'm trapped in this aircon room with nothing but my books in front of me and my mum sleeping behind me.

UURRRGHHHHHH.

The temptation to sleep is ssooooo invitingggggg.
Someone pls help press the pedal :(

CHANGE

I wanted to post this up on facebook, but since it involves a bit of male and female nudity (all for the sake of genuine art),
I decided to put it up on the blog instead :D (in case got 16 and younger kids see then i gg)

Excerpt from kennysia.com:
"There’s one last thing I really wanna share here though. There was this one blank wall in the studio.

Throughout the whole three days, each individual artist painted their creations onto this wall. One painting over another. Continuously changing the picture on the wall from one to the other.

A video camera recorded the whole process. This was played back during the Tiger Translate Global Showcase in front of a live audience and everyone was completely blown away.

Well, what can I say?"

Love Story

Before he opens his mouth, I start crying.
I know what he's here for and I know where all this is heading.
He doesn't flinch, doesn't even bat an eyelid - FOR GOD'S SAKE, and uses the biggest sledgehammer ever created to knock my world down.

At that moment, I realise that your heart can ache in places you never knew existed.

In tears I make an excuse to use the restroom, lock the door and sit down on the floor.
Nothing was going through my head, except streams of WHY and WHY and WHY, endlessly pillaging my thoughts.
I saw it coming, I saw it coming, but WHY does it hurt so bad?
What I don't know is that he was standing outside, sobbing too.

They say that pain can be diverted by doing something else.
Taking up a hobby, dating another guy, drinking magueritas,
Well, I put that to the test.

I start hitting the walls around me with my fists and before I know, my knuckles are pink, and one is beginning to bleed.
He breaks the door open when he hears pounding noises without any reply to "Are you okay?", and does something I never want him to stop doing.
Hug me.

In my entire, I have never cried till there were no more tears.
But by the time he leaves, my face is cold, emotionless and my eyes no longer wet.

"Goodbye."
"Bye." I close the gate to his face. No final hug, no last kiss, no last moment.
I realise: Pain is relative.

Proof that Batman Doesnt Have a Sense of Humour

Okay. So this week was productive (:

The end. (HAHA!)

It's Like I'm Pleading God For An Answer

So recently there's been stuff going on.

Stupid petty issues that adults can't handle - affecting their children in more ways than one.
But then again, being an adult means that your problems are automatically more impt than those of your children.
Or your feelings are above how your children feel.

Also, my granduncle's got last stage cancer.
He isn't that old, just, unhealthy.
His daughter, my auntie, is one year younger than me.
And right now, im just speechless at what blood siblings do - or rather, don't do in times of need.
I don't get it.

Also, i dont understand why children pay the consequences for their parents' actions.
One of the duties of a child i guess.

Plus, there's just so much running through my brain now, it's almost short-circuiting.
I told them i wouldnt let it get to me - and im not letting it get to me.
It's just, im speechless to them, on msn, on sms, everything.
Rendered speechless.

I'm not someone to open and close boxes - my environment disturbs me in every single way possible.
And right now, i'm disturbed.

For the Antagonistic Side of You

Doogie Horner.
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendId=37080660

His last update was 26 Februrary 2008, so i'm not expecting an update from him anytime soon.
If you can sit down and read through his entries, i guarantee you you'll ROFLOL (felt like spamming abbrieviations), if you have the same sense of humour as me (:
I especially love his Winnie the Pooh entry, you'll never look at Winnie the Pooh/Piglet the same way again.

As most of you know, Prelims are over (YAYYAYYAYYAYYAY) and we've gotten most of our results back.
I wouldnt say i did well, but i definitely improved from BT2.
I was quite disappointed with my GP (honest to God and myself, because i thought i could have really done alot better :/)
But what's done is done, what's over is over,
Now im just awaiting the arrival of the epic VIPs (Very Impt Papers) - so that i can eat, chew, tear them apart, own them, and then get on with my life (:

To those who didnt get good results this time round:

IT DON MADDER :D

The impt exam is finally coming, in abt 40 (OMG) days.
There's not alot of time left.
So it's time to rest, mug, rest, eat, mug, mug, slp, eat, mug, and repeat - AL QAEDA STYLE :D
Strap on your notes and press the GC to detonate! *yoou noe? BOOMZ*
(I can't believe how many jokes there are in that one sentence)

I dont know how many times i've said this but -
I CANT WAIT FOR A LEVELS TO BE OVER!!

I wanna drive,
I wanna go SOT,
I wanna go overseas,
I wanna shop,
I wanna club,
I wanna pack my rooooom,
I wanna go to Discovery Centre,
Botanic Gardens,
Marina Barrage,
Orchard Ion,
Sentosa (with just Bryan hehez),
I wanna sell my stuff,
I wanna move into my brother's room (YAY!!)
I wanna recycle all my notes,
I wanna work (if not everything above will never come to pass haha),
I wanna join MINISTRY!!!

Above all,
I WANNA SLP.

Haha, kidding.

I JUST WANNA SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU :D

Dumb Brother Quotes

*arriving at the Drive-Thru*

Mac Employee: HiwelcometoMcDonaldsmayitakeyourorder?

Brother: HAIR-ROOW. Can i have a 6 piece nugget meal, curry sauce and sweet and sour sauce.

Mac Employee: Ok. What do you want for your drink?

Brother: I want COCK - I mean, i want coke.


I didnt even dare to look at the guy's face when he passed us the food.
I bet he was laughing like crazy, just like all of us in the car were. (:

Say HAIR-ROW to cockster brother, dumb sister, and Grace (Chew, not Cheng, Gan, How or Lee)

Notes, please diffuse in. Thanks.

My four day streak of non-studying has ended.
It went by so fast, so so so fast. ):

So after my relac one kohnerr Chem MCQ ended on Thurs,
I've been 'destressing' all the way till today.
Went out with baby on Friday to play LAN,
Went to my sis' dance concert "The Next Wave" on Sat,
And went to SANDTOESAH! today, and then went to play LAN (:

So far, it's been an unproductive mugging holiday.
Heck, i'll start cramming from tmr onwards (haha that's what i always say :D)

But it's been great, it's been great,
So now my life ends here, and it'll be back on track in end November.
Cya :D

Aching Limbs

My right arm is dying.

In the morning, i had gym with Bryan.
He asked me to LIFT WEIGHTS. Gosh, so scary.
I realised that there're alot of FINAL DESTINATION moments in the gym - that place is so dangerous..
Shall wear helmet there the next time round.

Then in the afternoon while waiting for E222, Bryan and I went to Plaza Sing STAR FACTORY! for some drum-banging and zombie-shooting.
We played House of the Dead 4 (after so long :D) and made it to the last stage with one credit each whoots!
And after we died (AWW), i put down the gun and realised that my right arm was screaming with pain.

After meeting the cellgroup, we went off to play LAN at Paradiz.
My entire arm felt limp, and useless, i couldnt even aim zombies properly ):
Like, i shot rings around them. Hehe.
We tried playing CS too, that game sucks (cos i cannot play sniper BOO!), although the one with toilets was super fun!
(SWIM SWIM SWIM SWIM CANNOOTTTTT!!!!)

I'm packed for the next few days -
Sis' concert tmr, church on sunday morning and Sentosa in the afternoon.
Gosh. Time to rest my muscle-less arms.
NIGHTS :D

Just Because

Couldn't help but copy it from Samuel's blog :D

Hitting It Head-On

You know how sometimes computers stall when you open too many applications at once?
Or at least, lag beyond all redemption, then you have to restart it again?

That's how i feel preparing for A Levels.

No matter how many times i do a certain type of question,
When faced with the same question a week later, i completely forget how to do it.
So that reflects how fast my revision is proceeding ):

Merrill told me before, if he didn't know me personally, he'd probably think i'm someone from poly having their break now.
That kinda shines a light on how relaxed i seem.

Truth is, that counter as my wallpaper does not do much to boost my confidence for A Levels.
Plus, the fact that i screwed up Math Paper 1 so badly despite practising like a madwoman shows how equipped and ready i am for A Levels (not much, really).

I look relaxed and all, I sound fine and everything, I encourage ppl not to feel stressed,
But that poor guy, aka Bryan Yeo, has to bear the brunt of my stress/panic attacks.

My moodswings have just been pendulum-ing for the past week.
One moment im happy-go-lucky, then sad, then crazy happy, then just plain crazy.
That's quite scary, really.
Weird emotions like jealousy, boredom, angst have just been popping out like weasels.
I'm easily disturbed and insulted - SENSITIVE.
I dont know what im saying, and i dont know what im feeling.

It's all just a big box of space and spaghetti.


P.S: If you read this and are worried, don't be. It's just a study phase i go through. Since O's all the way till now, im vulnerable to study-attacks and i'll just go crazy for a period of time. Like, mental looney-bin crazy. My family's right - I cant handle stress. But dont worry, it's bryan's job to take care of me (:

P.P.S: www.icanhascheezburger.com keeps me partially sane.

ESCAPE ESCAPE!

P.P.P.S: If you want a read on an emotional piece of work, you can visit my old old blog www.nanagoesbananas.blogspot.com (DONT LAUGH) and scroll down to the 4th post. It's quite druggie-cool. Didn't know i was THAT depressed and emotional.


P.P.P.P.S: I REALLY HATE A LEVELS. BAH.

Bryan's Blonde Moment #39813119

Pastor Tan: ... healed the lame and the blind!

Me: *nudge Bryan* Haha you need to be healed by Jesus.. Cos you're lame :D

Bryan: Haha and you need to be healed cos you're blind. Wait, that doesn't sound right.

Me: BWAHAHAHAHAA yea i'm blind :D :D :D :D

Bryan: ): (sad boy)

Mindfreak!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1-1PkdQj4s

Sometimes, people confuse what they think they know with what they know they know. Who knows? Do you know? The shadow knows. And I know, it's time to MINDFREAK.

Annoying Neighbours of Every Sort

First, there is the one that parks at your mum's lot (forcing her to park in front of the closed gate of the next door HDB-lookalike 'mansion').

Second, there is the one who moves away the dustbin we put on the lot to deter the people from
the opposite condo,
the neighbouring 'mansion'
AND the next door terrace
from parking on that lot (apparently it doesnt work cause those dimwits move the dustbin away any way).

Last, there is the one who sticks annoying notices on your mum's car (one that's from the 'mansion').

That goes like this:
"Please park PROPERLY (underline)! Your car is blocking the gate!!!"


Fact 1:
The gate is perma-closed. PERMA.
There's this sign on it there goes "NO TRESPASSERS ALLOWED". And they keep the gate closed so everyone can see it and noone trespasses.
So, my mum parking there is like, 'blocking' the closed gate.

Fact 2:
The auntie who puts the notice on my mum's car hasnt done it the first time.
She rang our doorbell at 7 in the morning to get us to move the car away from the closed gate.
She has pasted notices on my mum's car before.
She comes to disturb us at VERY VERY unusual times (in the morning, during dinner etc)

I think it is quite obvious to say that apparently, she has no life.

I bet she stands at her house window and STARES at the road, waiting for the opportune time when that lavendar car parks outside the closed gate.
Then she picks from her stack of ready-made warnings (of course they're ready-made) a yellow notice , storms outside, shoves the piece of paper onto the back of the car - and afterwards, returns to her post.

Back at her post, she sits there dutifully with her binoculars, waiting for the owner of the lavendar car (knowing it belongs to my mum) to react to the notice and like a good and unquarrelsome neighbour, shifts the car away.
After waiting for OMG TWO WHOLE MINUTES!, she marches down over to unit 15 and shouts EXCUSE ME!!, cause she's obviously pissed that noone paid attention to her warning (which is the sole purpose of her life).

I mean, what more could deter someone from parking there besides 1) pasting who knows how many notices and 2) telling them to move it? RIGHT?

Well, I have suggestions.


(1) USE YOUR BRAIN.
I was abt to paste this letter back onto the gate when my dad stopped me ):
I wrote: A CLOSED GATE IS NEVER BLOCKED, GENIUS (: [complete with smiley face]
Yea, because my mum completely devastates the lives of the people in the 'mansion' by parking outside the closed gate.
Next time, try using the opened side.

(2) BE GRACIOUS.
OBVIOUSLY, there is only one parking space in our house - the porch.
We don't live in a 'mansion' where there is the abyss of space for its residents to park in.
And i think her observation skills must be lacking, otherwise she'd know that we have >1 car.
If annoying residents around us keep parking at the spaces outside our house, where do we park?
Outside the closed gate lah, whereelse? :/

Still, i must praise her for her fervency - otherwise known as auntienascity.
Never failing to net us with her yellow notices of doom (:

Estella

While i was rereading Great Expectations yesterday (in lieu of today's impending doom),
There were a few quotes that kept me staring at that page for fifteen whole minutes, and i was trying to figure out what it meant, in my context.


" 'You should know,' said Estella. 'I am what you have made me. Take all the praise, take all the blame; take all the success, take all the failure; in short, take me.' "

"All I possess is freely yours. All that you have given me, is at your command to have again. Beyond that, I have nothing."

" 'So,' said Estella, 'I must be taken as I have been made. The success in not mine, the failure is not mine, but the two together make me.' "

When i first heard the quotes (all within a succession of three pages) in class, it haunted me as a misguided child blaming her parental figure for having brought her up with the wrong intentions with the wrong (and damn scary) methods, leading her to become an unfeeling, cold and hardened shell of emotionlessness.
Her upbringing had to do with how she responded to Miss Havisham's love advances towards her - she rejected them, just like Miss Havisham had taught her.
But, i began to think last night, and began to ponder - How much of it really was Miss Havisham's fault?
Was Estella equipped with the knowledge to know left from right, dark and light?
Sure, she was isolated from the world, but since her exposure due to her studies overseas, did she not learn anything from there?

It left me thinking with more questions.
And one way or another, it led to me linking it to myself.

I'm glad it's over, and i can finally say that i've finally overcomed that hurdle.
Regardless how much my upbringing has shaped me, the decision lies within myself, and the consequences of what i do will affect me - not the people who brought me up.
I can discern right from wrong, good from bad, not only because of what my parents have taught me, but what God has entrusted me with, His Holy Word, to lead me and guide me, that when i feel like im going offtrack again, He's there to help me with His everlasting advice (:

A Levels does not give me time to introspect.
Okay, MUG MUG MUG. ):

Beautiful :D

For Janelle (Whom Jesus Loves)

Verse 1:
You hang the stars
Your love makes them glow
You care for the lilies,
The sparrows You hold

I open my eyes
Your mercies unfold
When I close my eyes,
There's one thing I know

Chorus:
Jesus loves me,
Calls me His own
Jesus loves me,
He makes me whole
Jesus Loves me,
Heart overflows
It is well, it is well with my soul

Verse 2:
You took my pain
And carried Your Cross
You kept all my tear drops
And shed them like Yours
You felt all my grief on Calvary's hill
Your heart was so broken
Now I can be healed

Chorus:
Jesus loves me,
Calls me His own
Jesus loves me,
He makes me whole
Jesus Loves me,
Heart overflows
It is well, it is well with my soul

(:


**************************************************
FUNNY JOKE! :D

Rolland: Hey Samuel, let's get the bill.

Samuel: Orh. Bill, bill, bill..

-Waiters didn't hear-

Samuel: Bill, bill, Francis. Zoey.


HAHAHHAHAHHAAH GOSH.
Laughed for 5 minutes straight.




FUNNY JOKE 2! :D

Pastor Kong: -telling story- I was so excited to got the chance to pray, so i SHOUTED...

"IN THE NAME OF SATAN I BIND YOU JESUS!"

-Church erupts into laughter-



It was funneh. Hahaha :D
Awesome awesome service today (:

Aspirations, Ambitions.

It's amazing how fast life passes when you're mugging like a mugger warrior.
Time flies, and you're not having fun at all :/
Every day is like this inch closer and closer to the Big A's (before that, prelims).
I don't enjoy it one bit ):

Recently i've been rethinking what im gonna do after A Levels.
Besides the obvious SHOPPING! and MOVIE-WATCHING!,
I'm gonna find WORK and support myself through SOT :D
SOT=School Of Theology (:
What made me decide and convict my heart, i cant be sure,
But, im really excited for it.
Can't wait for A Levels to end before i embark on an amazing journey :D

Yesterday i watched 17 Again on Bryan's lappie,
And it reignited my LOVES for Zac Efron again!!!! :D :D :D :D


HAHA, CAN YOU SAY CUTE TTM?!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDD

"O! beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-ey'd monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on."
-Iago

Othello, Act 3 Scene 3

Chem Tuition with Brother

Bro: So, where's the equivalance point?

Me: -silently points-

Bro: *PAK* -whacks my head with pen-

*******************************************************

Bro: Okay, the combined weight of 3 of you is 150kg. If you weigh 100kg...

Me: Yes kor... (can't do anything)

Bro: ... What's your partial pressure?


[In restropect, this is a really flawed example] :D


I was reading 20th Anniversary Harvest Times today.
Thank God that i flipped to a page, and read a quote.

3 taboo words - "Impossible", "too difficult" and "cannot do".

Yes, this shall be my motto for A Levels (:

Epic Tired

Seeing that A Levels is only 91 days away,
It's time this blog went on hiatus.


:(




Alright lah, maybe an occasional picture or two (for my inherent indulgence),
But that's it. :D

See ya'll when my cage door opens! (:


Love, Nal.

P.S Don't be too sad ): Here's an epic-ly cute picture of my siblings and i for your enjoyment :D



:D

Nalina Affinity (N.A)

I'm feeling all hyperactive, cause i've been home the past 2 days (including today, that's 3).
All that energy + nowhere to release = HYPERACTIVE NALINA!!!!
[I kinda miss hanging out with Sihui, and i know she's dying in sch ): Sorry i can't be there to decompose with you girl]

So this blogpost is gonna be abt all kinds of girl crap.
Really.


1) I keep missing buses these few days.
Monday - Missed one to school.
Tuesday - Missed a bus to tuition, and missed a bus on the way to Tampines.
Wednesday - Missed TWO stupid buses.
Thursday (TODAY!) - Still mulching. No going out. Studying. Brain dying. So no bus to miss.

Seriously, 5 buses in 4 days. -.-

2) I keep seeing cute guys around :D
LALALA when i missed the bus to tuition, this DAMN CUTE brunette angmoh in an orange tee (rocker look hehez) crossed the road right in front of me and i SWEAR he was looking at me (cause i was staring, couldn't help it).
Embarrassed, i just took out my phone and twiddled with it till he went away.
HAHA! Then i called Sihui and went berserk :D

Not the mention the doctor i went to see on Wednesday.
He wasn't that cute, just had those piercing greenish-blue eyes (:
HAHA SWOON~
I think i fall for guys' eyes. CRAP.

Okay. I think i made myself puke.
NEXT!

3) I'm abt to die from brain malfunction.
I'm stuDYING so hard, i think my brain is malfunctiozadsiofji2*@#!()!(*jjsosi19*@ EJ92

CHC 20TH ANNIVERSARY :D

OMG I can't believe i woke up so early on a Sunday morning.
What a bad way to end the week.

But what completely turned that around was the atmosphere of the Indoor Stadium the entire morning to afternoon. :D
It was simply, AMAZING.

Praise and worship were amazing,
The performances were amazing,
The crystal block (hehe) was amazing,
The testimonies were amazing,
EVERYTHING, was amazing.

I kinda regretted not being born earlier into Pastor Kong's generation,
Then i'd have been in Anglican High and be one of its founding members :DDDD (HAHA WHAT A STRETCH).
It's so beautiful what God has done in CHC for the past 20 years,
I'm just so grateful to God for placing me in such a wonderful and spirit-filled church,
One that has a vision and is so connected to God.
I really couldn't ask for more (:


I'm so tired now.

I reached home only abt 12am last night and slept abt 2am. :/
Got awakened at 3.15am and chased out of my sister's room ):
Woke up at 6.30am and DIDN'T WANT to get out of bed.

Spent the whole day, from 8am to 3pm at Kallang.
Went to Ion to get (an unsuccessful) lunch. Didn't get any.
Rushed down to tuition at 4.30pm, and ended at 6.30pm. (I really wonder where I got the energy to go buy bubble tea.)
I completely collapsed on the sofa once i reached home.
Right now i want nothing more then to lay my head down on my pillow and




Haha don't worry i havent slept yet.
Close to, close to. :D

As Merrill would say: "you SHOULD go and sleep now" :D
Okay then.
Zzz.