ZZZ

AC's over. I didn't donate blood.
I don't know whether that's a good or bad thing, but I guess it just means my time to donate isn't here yet (:

Queuing is horrible.
I don't ever want to do it again.
(Then the next AC comes and I'm all psyched up, then I'll just queue regardless :D)

I feel quite 'pensive' (emo in adult terminology), all because I put myself in this vulnerable situation where my feelings get the hold of me and I can't seem to break out of this cycle that happens every year.
Just that this year is much stronger, and it feels so much heavier.

Denser.

Just like Dr A.R Bernard said, self-conceptualization.
It just feels hard to break out of.

The thing is - I know what the problem is and where it lies,
I know where it came from, and I can foresee where it's headed.
Yet, I still can't bring myself to overcome it.

Hopefully just as Vincent said, it takes time, and eventually you just get over it.
I don't have army to help me, so I'm just gonna have to go a different way.

Speaking of army, it sucks when your boyfriend is out for field camp for the next 10 days,
Which means you can't see him for the next two weeks.
Plus, he won't be around to celebrate it with you, like he's done for the past 3 years.
Worse still, there won't even be a text or a phone call, because he'll be somewhere under the canopy of the dreaded Tekong Forest.

Something else that's weighing me down - I can't even bear to mention it here.


I can't handle these on my own,
It's hard to keep on fighting like this.
I'm tired, I'm weary, I'm confused,
Like a bruised reed, a smoking flax,
So precariously perched on a precipice.
But I know:
You find strength in my weakness,
Beauty in my brokenness.

I lift this to You.

The one thing that I need, be seated at Your feet.

ANNOUNCEMENT

ASIA CONFERENCE
IS HERE!

Ciao, won't be active anywhere except for expo for this week!

To say goodbye, here's a picture of me with my very first Popeyes (yes i know im deprived) :D

Happy kid

The next time i blog, i'd have donated blood for the very first time!
Wish me luck!

BAPTISM! (:

I just wanna thank all those who came down to witness my baptism:
(In no particular order) Merrill, Sihui, Linkai, Rolland, Bryan Lee, Kaiqi, Hak Soon, Szehui,
And of course Daddy and Jie and Bryan Yeo (:
Thanks for braving the distance and the heat :D

I was baptised with my mummy, so this really marks a great milestone in my Christian walk.
To all those who helped me along this long and narrow path, you know who you are, and I wouldn't be here without the help of you guys (:

And to God, I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU :D

HELLO! :D

I am currently missing something:
DANCING!

Bimbo sister in the middle (:

Gosh. It's been AGES since I danced.. Over two years?
I feel like joining some dance class - O School, Dance Ensemble?
But now I really can't afford the time.
Sigh. Just one of the many things I wanna do: GET MY SPLIT BACK.
It's been forsaken since goodness knows when.

Dancing in secondary school and singing in SOT now.
Honestly, I just wanna do both! Cause I can't decide which I prefer :D

Today I had a talk with Merrill and my choir ic Meida, and both are telling me the same thing.
It's time really, it's time to rest before things get worse.


With regards to my university, I've decided on NTU WKWSCI.
It'll be a 4 year Direct Honors course, then after that I'll be working in media :D
So now I need to decide whether or not I wanna stay in a hall, and if I am, which hall.
Questions questions, so little answers.

I Feel Like Slapping the Clouds

I can't believe it!
One moment ago it was so hot and now thunderclouds are a'looming.

It was the same yesterday, hot cold hot cold rain sun humid cold rain.
Now my nose is all acting up bleah.

Some ppl must be praying too much I suppose :D

Hmm

This is really eating me inside out.

I know that it's normal to feel like this once in a while,
But this time, it feels overwhelming.

Every time this sorta thing happens i fall sick, so i guess it's just a manifestation of the spirit? (Theological term here, sorry)

I hate being stuck in a place where you cant go back or move forward.
I hate being stagnant, staying put, unable to advance.

I know the cause, i know the effect,
Yet, I refuse to surrender this to God.
My Achilles' heel - the only thing he can attack, i leave it open, all because of my stubbornness, all because i dont want to let go.

Because when i let go, i lose a part of my life.
I know there is more to gain, but i dont want to lose THAT. I refuse to.

It's either one way or the other.
And that's eating me alive.