I heard this story before.

When Stephanie was young, she converted into a Christian.
Her parents, who were staunch Buddhists, were very angry that she decided to become a Christian.
One day, Stephanie asked her parents whether she could get water baptised.
Her dad flew into a rage, and grabbing her by her arm, demanded her to kneel and pray in front of their family altar.
Stephanie begged her parents not to do this, and after hours of crying and scolding,
They finally allowed her to stand up.

In what Stephanie was doing, was she disrespectful to her parents by staying strong to her beliefs and not kneeling and praying to the family altar?

When you choose to stay strong to what you believe in, and hold on to that belief,
It's never gonna be easy.
Even if the world thinks you're being rude in standing up for what you hold dear to,
You are strong in what you're believing in.

And right now, i dont listen to ppl who ask me to take God out of the equation.
Because if God is out, there's no path for reconciliation.

Joy

One week has flew past.

Bryan remains in camp.
The world is still round.
I still haven't done my readings or prepared for mock cg next week (:

All that's changed is my capacity.
I've grown this week :D

***************************************************************
This week has been nuts (:
It's really really no joke to wake up at 5 in the morning, walk to the mrt station which is 20 min away (cause there's no first bus to send you there), catch the first train, then reach school at 6.50am.
Have prayer meeting till 8am, a quick break to the washroom/sleep, serve choir at 8.10.
Schoooooooool till 1pm, then lunch, then DN till 11pm.
Reach home at 12am, sleep at 1am, wake up at 5am,
Repeat cycle.

Yet, this is the week that I got the most insight from God about myself, about ppl, about ministry.
Not falling sick is a whole miracle of its own.
The only emotional torture and trauma for me this week was Bryan being away, and I not being able to talk to him.
But somehow, some way, I pulled through.
His grace and mercy was upon me all this while, and I can be thankful that in honoring Him, He has honoured me as well.

I'm not really looking forward to mock cg next week,
Cause I haven't prepared for it at all.
Nonetheless, I'm gonna give my very best (:

The joy of the Lord is my strength.

It's been baffling for me this week as well.
I keep on questioning my actions, my purpose,
Am I pushing myself too hard? What am I doing all this for? Why can't I just drop everything and life will be simpler, so so so much simpler?
When especially (1) ppl don't appreciate, and (2) ppl don't see the sacrifice and effort you've put in.

Besides the popular point that leaders always say - Even if ppl don't see, God sees,
There's another reason.

Because, He first loved us, and still loves us, and will never stop loving us.
That we love, and we live, to serve His purpose.
And while doing that, He builds our lives up, continually adding and extending His Love (:

The wall needs the brick, and the brick finds its function in the wall. :D

Long Long Week

I can't concentrate on practising my guitar, because i keep thinking of the effects next week could bring.
Waking up at 5am the whole week to make it for morning pm at jw,
Working till 11pm on Mon, Wed and Thurs,
Giving tuition on Tues and Fri,
Lastly, working till 3pm on Sat and rushing down to Expo to serve.

Phew. All I need now is God's protection, His strength and His continual provision (:
To really protect Bryan as he goes OCS and to keep our relationship strong in this 3 week confinement.
That's all I ask, really.

And to improve my guitar skills. I can't play the dang F chord. ):

To serve Him really isn't easy.
But I take pride in knowing that what I do is eternal, and for the sole purpose of sitting at His feet.
I'm here to prove that "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me".

I do for, and I do by.


*After crying to God to help me ease my burden, I received a text from my choir ic that tues prac is cancelled.
Really, thank God for the little treasures of life :D
He really really spoils me (:

These past two days have been an emotional rollercoaster.
Up, down, up, down, up, down.

I received a new guitar from Bryan Lee, that really blessed me and made me smile like a fool for like 4 to 5 hours. (:
I named it Adora, which accidentally came about when I was on the phone with Bryan (Yeo). He asked me to call it Pandora which I mistakenly heard as Adora.
Then the best thing was that I went online to check what that name meant, and it meant gift (:
Very very apt :D
I'm so thankful to Lee, who really sacrificed his own finances to bless me :D I will practise like a madwoman!!

On that very night at work, i received my first every complaint from a customer, who said I was rude and that I misled her -.-
Talk about a wet blanket.
Nonetheless, I went home and practised for one and a half hours :D

I went to SOT the next day really tired, and no matter how funny Pst Ming was, I was totally dozing off :/
After school, some stuff happened that made me quite, disappointed/confused/isolated/abandoned/down.
So much so that I really needed to just rest and recharge.
I cancelled tuition, asked for a choir break, and just had lunch with Liting.
I hadn't talked to her like that for quite long, and it really made me feel better (:
Then I went off to Glenn's place to spend some time with the guys, and thought about lots of stuff.

I'm really grateful for a boyfriend like Bryan, in my most pms-y and moody state, he can still cheer me up, or at least try to, rather than leaving me alone (:

Then today, I slept in, and went to vivo with Bryan!
Watched How to Train Your Dragon, and it's AWESOME!
I was quite moody the whole day, but he managed to incessantly chatter on and on and on :D

It's gonna be a long day again tmr.
Teo Heng with council, then work.
Thank God for His strength, thank God for everything (:

I won't lie :/

It's been 4 months since we last went to Sentosa together, and I really miss spending time with you.
Looking at all those photos raked up a tinge of nostalgia, and made me miss you even more.

Nonetheless, many great things have happened since we went our separate ways, and I know even greater things are gonna happen.
Our separation was for the greater good.
It has made me grow to become a better person, and to not rest on my laurels, letting others take charge while I sit in my comfort zone waiting for things to happen.
Now, I gotta step out and make things happen myself.
No more relying on others to keep this going.

But, I just wanna say that I miss you,
And no matter how distant we become, you'll always be an important part of my life.

I love you, E222.
Arison's birthday party made me feel like nothing ever changed,
But the truth is, lots of things have changed.
And I know it's for the better (:

See y'all around :D

I really value honesty.
Above all else, really.
No matter how much it hurts me or brings me down, at the end of the day,
I just want your real opinion.

I'm so scared to fall asleep now, in case i don't wake up on time tmr for school.
It's been a long, long, long day.

I need strength for my tired body.
And literally, breath in my lungs.

Drained :/

I'm so tired.

Stressed by lots of things - money, ministry, relations etc.
Life would be a lot simpler if - if.

Well, too late for regrets now.
It's time to look forward and expand my capacity.
The next time you see me, I shall be vampiresque, no need for sleep whatsoever haha!

Once SOT and BF is over, I'd need to find stuff to do.
Haha, can't wait till that happens :D
Or maybe I should go on a holiday or something, right before uni.
Like squeeze in a Malaysia trip somewhere, somehow.

If I ain't tired, I can't sleep :/
How sucky is that?
Then the next day i wake up totally drained and stonish, nodding off for the majority of class (but I still listen to what the lecturer is teaching :D).

School doesn't really feel like school.
It's tiring to wake up at 6am, but other than that, it feels like church every day. (:
Then it's off for work, ministry, or tuitioning. Yippee.

Honestly, I can't wait for this to be over.
Then I can really really have at least one holiday.

Go Nalina, go.

Easter! :D

Since it's Easter Friday, I thought that it'll be great to share about this impt part of my life that I rarely talk about here - God (:

Deciding to go to SOT was tough, faced with the challenges of an entire year before finally applying and going into it.
Throughout that one year - faith vs fatigue, fervency vs failure. It was crazy, 2009.
But finally, after a period of dryness and near-backsliding, I stepped boldly into SOT, and I knew God would work miracles, all because of this step of faith taken.

It wasn't, and isn't easy.
Working to support my daily expenses, SOT and Building Fund is not fun and I'm often dead tired by the time I reach home.
Not to mention the expenses of daily fellowship and adult transport, those can be enough to kill.
Time is hard to spare. It's either ministry, work or fellowship.

Yet, God has blessed me with a Sabbath Day (:
He has protected my relationship with Bryan (: (He's POPing soon and we haven't gotten into a single major argument)
My mum picks me up from work daily (as often as she can, and I truly appreciate it from bottom of my heart :D)
He has given me a ministry in SOT that I dreamed about since the day I stepped into CHC (which was in 2005/6).
He has blessed me with the strength to keep keeping on, to accomplish what i thought was impossible (waking up at 6am is stupefying to me).
He has given me great friends in SOT who understand and are willing to support me, who were willing to listen to me when I felt tired of serving Him.

All these have compounded into an overflowing sense of joy.
A ridiculous sense of joy. It's almost like a siao siao person. :D
He's blessed me with so much more than I've ever imagined when I was thinking of going to SOT.
All of that was worth it.
It is worth it.

I'm gonna be stretched, and I'm still being stretched now.
But He's gonna stretch me more so He has more space to contain His blessings (:

Happy Easter Father. (:
Love You :D