2 Timothy 2:11-13

"Here is a trustworthy saying:

If we died with him,
we will also live with him;
if we endure,
we will also reign with him.
If we disown him,
he will also disown us;
if we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself."

2 Timothy 2:11-13

Faeries Crossword

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."
James 1:19-20

Hello everyone!
It's been a week, so you're probably wondering where i've been, right? Right? :D
If i said i wasnt studying i'd probably be called into Grace's Secret Chamber for a 'talk' 0.0
Anywho, yes i've been studying. But tonight, since it's Tuesday, i decided to do a little bit of instropection (:
(I know that has totally no link, but lalalaaaa)

I was just thinking: How is it, that with all my sarcasm, i've managed to not get my pants up in a knot for almost a year?
When i'm angry, i know my sarcasm is almost unparallelled, and i tend to spew words all over ppl (Bryan especially) when im mad and just plain crazy (insane, kuku, witch-like).'
So, how have i been able to pass this year without insulting (almost) anyone?

I credit it all to God.

I'm still quick to speak, honestly, sometimes words just come out of my pie-hole like a spring of insanity.
It's near impossible for me to sit down and THINK before i speak - which often results in me offending ppl, unintentionally and intentionally.

When you're quick to speak like me, leave a certain degree of ambiguity in your speech.
That way, before you say something, you gotta think of how to make yourself seem epicly intelligible (like Confucius).
And, if you cant seem to bend your words around what you gotta say - then, just keep thinking (:

I know this goes against the Law of Straightforwardness (Niuten's 2nd Law) and against those ppl who advocate SPEAK YOUR MIND AND DONT BE HYPOCRITICAL blah blah,
But, i'd rather not be myself, than sacrifice the relationship i have with a friend by being straightforward.
And hypocriticism only happens when you say one thing, but do another.
How is not speaking your mind and preserving a friendship hypocritical? I have no idea.
Unless you really dont like the person, then just dont be friends lah, just be acquaintances, right?

And now i think im ranting. But yea, this is in response to ppl whom i find have crossed the line of being overbearing and are just plain annoying, immature, and lamezordon.
Life does not centre around a stupid ball, it centres around God.
And come on, carry the Cross (God and ppl) and let's not ruin relationships by becoming fanatics (fanatics, not fans) of stupid Faeries Crossword.

So what if Maddy Uzenbaum lost the fight?
So what if Lilynette won?
There's just no call or basis to insult either side, and pls, if you're gonna call Maddy a loser and be all crazy 'in-your-face' about it, think of her family and friends - who are your friends too.
And if they're sore abt losing, what makes you think sore winners dont exist as well?
Plus, responding to sore ppl makes you a sorer^100000000 person.
Then a whole debacle explodes, goes boomz, and then noone wins.
In this case, just, keep, quiet.

Why?

BECAUSE THE WHOLE THING WAS LAME TO BEGIN WITH.
JUST WATCH THE STUPID SHOW, AND LGO.

Hit Me Baby One More Time

My ggaawwddd.
There're so many stupid mock papers and lit seminars and random tuition lessons! ):
They're making me feel like im so inadequate for A Levels.

But as Samuel said, you'll never feel prepared enough for A Levels.

******************************************************************
Bryan's Blonde Moments (:

B: So right, the guy thought he saw a lion, actually, it was a flaming lion.
N: Which guy?
B: The guy lah, y'know, the one who saw a lion and named us Singapura.
N: WHAT'S HIS NAME? :D
B: Errr.. I know what's his name lah, don't tell you (:
N: Say say what's his name :D
B: Aiyah some USAMA right?
N: USAMAAAAA????!!! (ROFLMAO)

6th February

Is Bryan's enlistment date.

Hahahaha BOTAK TIME!!!!!! :DDDDDDDD

Come What May

After Saturday, I kept thinking abt it.
I told myself not to - but it's kinda hard when you're just so uncertain abt everything.

Right now for A Levels, I keep telling myself that my outlook determines my outcome,
My constant comparison with imba ppl isn't gonna help me any more.
It's self-motivation, self-determination and self-discipline.

Whatever the future holds, no matter how unstable and daunting it may seem,
I have to trust Grace's better judgment, that I know she does things for a reason.
I also have to trust Bryan, that he'll love me no matter what happens.
And also, I have to trust God, because regardless the circumstance, He allows things to happen to mould me to become a better person, and He allows things to happen to mould our relationship.

It's hard to trust anything and anyone especially when things like these are determined for you.
But instead of resenting the facts and the perhaps inevitable,
Let's just place absolute trust in God's hands, let's offer absolute abandonment and obedience to Him.

Everything's gonna be alright.

Tame My Ever-Wand'ring Heart

Tmr's the last day of school.

So I've been thinking alot this week, in lieu of my graduation.
Thinking of what I've done wrong and right.
Thinking of the ppl I've met - those who have passed me by, and those who have remained in my life.
Like Sihui said, "You have to choose the ppl who are gonna stay in your life, and those who pass by, pass by."

It's like these two years just flew past.
From OG, to PAE, to Council, to JAE, to Famine Camp, to God knows where I've been to.

The very first time I donned on the SAJC uniform (:

I've changed so much during my stay here.
So many ups and downs, lots of downs that have made me more stronger, more independent and less childish (:
So to those friends from SAJC who actually read my blog, thanks for being here to share my two years.
To those I've offended, I'M SORRY.

And, let's take pictures tmr! :DDDDDD

******************************************************************
On a hind note, I'm pretty worried abt the future.
Talking with Sihui today made me realise that there are so many uncertainties that lie in our way after A Levels.
Yes, I know I should only be thinking of A Levels now, but let me just empty my troubles out first (:

After A Levels, I'm gonna feel quite lost.
The routine that the educational system has subjected me to for the past 12 years of my life are gone.
For me, I habituate - So routine stays routine. So when routine's gone, I'm lost.
During University, it's gonna be Own Time Own Target, not something I'm really familiar with.

After A Levels, I'm gonna have to get a job.
I'm not even sure what I wanna go work as - and like a drama queen, always ask myself: WHAT'S MY MOTIVATION? (Y'know how pre-madonnas love to pester their director and stuff)
I'm just praying for God to open doors for me, to earn lots of money so I can do what I need to do in my holiday.

After A Levels, E222 is gonna multiply.
Regardless of whether I get multiplied out, or stay in the cellgroup, it's gonna be the same.
That same feeling of loss - when you lose ppl dear to you, when you lose ppl you've become accustomed to.
I know it's definitely for the better, but getting detached from something that you're attached to is gonna hurt.
I'm really not looking forward to the inevitable.

After A Levels, I have to think of what course and which Uni to go to.
That really sucks, cause I have no clue what I wanna do. Not even in the future - in the near near future.
I'm clueless.

After A Levels, Bryan is going to Army, and I'm going to Uni.
This doesn't really help things along, does it?
It's just self-explanatory - and quote Othello, "a monster that feeds upon itself" - the more you think abt it, the more worried you are, because new situations just emerge out of nowhere due to my fertile imagination.

Ugh. Jesus tells us not to worry, but aahhhhhhh.

When You Say Nothing At All

It was nice last night.
Didn't worry abt not finishing my chem, or that i couldnt do questions from an easy paper.
It was just us.

And sometimes, some things are just better left unsaid.

Job 23:10

"BUT HE KNOWS THE WAY THAT I TAKE
WHEN HE HAS TESTED ME, I WILL COME FORTH AS GOLD."

To many ppl out there, thank you for being there.
And to many others, keep on keeping on.

"They are all but stomachs, and we all but food;
They eat us hungerly, and when they are full,
They belch us."
- Emilia

Othello Act 3 Scene 4

I'm totally taking this quote out of context.
Right now, I feel like a piece of belched cowgrass.

I dont know how many young adults my age face the same problem i have.
Not many, i fathom.
Every day you wake up, and it's just THERE. It never goes away.
It smacks you right in the face everywhere you go - the problem NEVER goes away, it never disappears.
The worse thing is: You can't do anything abt it.

I guess, this is the best cure for materialism.
Having nothing.

Lameness Begets Lameness

Iron Man by ~CyrilTheWizard

One more week, and i'll be graduating from SAJC.
It's quite hard to fathom that feeling, especially when i can still rmb stepping into SA for the very first time (CLICHE I KNOW).
It's even weirder that in these two short years, i feel like i've grown so much more as a person - one who has been through more, much more, than one would ever imagine.
Learning how to be more independent while learning to depend on God at the same time,
Learnt how to appreciate friends more,
Learning abt committment, love and all things beautiful (:

J1:
Orientation, Joanne, OG5,
PAE with 08A05 was just SPECTACULARLY AWESOME,
Going thru JAE and somehow not clicking with my class,
Council elections and crazyass camps and meetings and rehearsals,
Tough times with Bryan, as well as with results :/

J2:
Leading Orientation with OG32, more council stuff.
Clicking more with the ppl around me and the ppl i know, and basically, just coming out of the shell i retreated to in J1.

Yes, J2 passed by in a flash.
I've come to terms with that (:
And soon, next Thursday will be here.
FAREWELLLLLL.

Agitates ma Socks

Grrr.
It was such a craptastic day.

Firstly, i woke up at 4.30am and witnessed my two pet dogs MURDER a kitten.
A CUTE, FURRY, KITTEN.
They toyed and bit it till it died.
Then i kept crying while out with bryan, who was like, errrrr it's alright, the kitten's with the ceiling cat now.
I'd retort and say "THERE IS NO CEILING CAT!!!! BWWWWWAAAAAA!!!!"
Yea, it's like random crying, but im seriously traumatised.
I mean, i SAW THE KITTEN DIE.
DIE. BEFORE MY VERY EYES.
MURDERED BY MY TWO PET DOGS. Now i cant even look or pet at them already ):

Secondly, there was this damn auntie who was so irritating at Tampines One kopitiam.
Ughhhhh.

Thirdly, i spent 20 min in the toilet and my dad started complaining to my mum who complained to me and shot me dirty looks.
I was seriously WTF.
I mean, if you want your children to stop doing such "inconsiderate things", the best way to teach - is to do it yourself.
If you want your kids to be considerate, you should be considerate yourself.
I guess, my dad doesn't understand that obvious and simple concept.

Argh. Damn bad day.

************************************************************************
updated! (: i totally forgottttttt!

After a year of wearing a pair of sneakers i bought 4 years ago,
Bryan bought me a new pair today at Tampines One (:
If you know me in school you'll probably see how terok my old ones were. :/
I love my new off-white sneakers, and i love the person who bought them for me! :D

P.S: My mum told me it's not good for your partner to buy a pair of shoes for you, so apparently i have to pay Bryan 20 cents back or something.
If i don't, one of us will "run away" from the other - Which is quite funny now that you think of it. Ha, i'm not one for superstition :D
Bryan thinks otherwise - Since he bought me those shoes, apparently "i belong to him" and "shoes won't run away from their owners" or something like that. YAH RIGHT.
THEY'RE. JUST. SHOES. (:
Love shoes, but shoes :D

WAKE UP!!

It's such a dreary Sunday.
The sun is beating down, and i'm trapped in this aircon room with nothing but my books in front of me and my mum sleeping behind me.

UURRRGHHHHHH.

The temptation to sleep is ssooooo invitingggggg.
Someone pls help press the pedal :(

CHANGE

I wanted to post this up on facebook, but since it involves a bit of male and female nudity (all for the sake of genuine art),
I decided to put it up on the blog instead :D (in case got 16 and younger kids see then i gg)

Excerpt from kennysia.com:
"There’s one last thing I really wanna share here though. There was this one blank wall in the studio.

Throughout the whole three days, each individual artist painted their creations onto this wall. One painting over another. Continuously changing the picture on the wall from one to the other.

A video camera recorded the whole process. This was played back during the Tiger Translate Global Showcase in front of a live audience and everyone was completely blown away.

Well, what can I say?"

Love Story

Before he opens his mouth, I start crying.
I know what he's here for and I know where all this is heading.
He doesn't flinch, doesn't even bat an eyelid - FOR GOD'S SAKE, and uses the biggest sledgehammer ever created to knock my world down.

At that moment, I realise that your heart can ache in places you never knew existed.

In tears I make an excuse to use the restroom, lock the door and sit down on the floor.
Nothing was going through my head, except streams of WHY and WHY and WHY, endlessly pillaging my thoughts.
I saw it coming, I saw it coming, but WHY does it hurt so bad?
What I don't know is that he was standing outside, sobbing too.

They say that pain can be diverted by doing something else.
Taking up a hobby, dating another guy, drinking magueritas,
Well, I put that to the test.

I start hitting the walls around me with my fists and before I know, my knuckles are pink, and one is beginning to bleed.
He breaks the door open when he hears pounding noises without any reply to "Are you okay?", and does something I never want him to stop doing.
Hug me.

In my entire, I have never cried till there were no more tears.
But by the time he leaves, my face is cold, emotionless and my eyes no longer wet.

"Goodbye."
"Bye." I close the gate to his face. No final hug, no last kiss, no last moment.
I realise: Pain is relative.

Proof that Batman Doesnt Have a Sense of Humour

Okay. So this week was productive (:

The end. (HAHA!)