Thank you.

My Only Exception

When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it. And my mama swore that she would never let herself forget and that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love if it does not exist.

But darling, you are the only exception, you are the only exception, you are the only exception.

Well, maybe I know somewhere, deep in my soul that love never lasts. And we've got to find other ways to make it alone or keep a straight face. And I've always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance. And up until now, I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness because none of it was ever worth the risk.

Well, you are the only exception
Well, you are the only exception
Well, you are the only exception
Well, you are the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality, but I can't let go of what's in front of me here. I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up. Leave me of some kind of proof it's not a dream.

You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, and I'm on my way to believing

(:

Thank God for Bryan's early book out and late book in this week :D

A Level results are coming out this Friday, and right now i just feel emotionless, up to a point of nonchalence.
I havent even gone to check up on the courses available in NUS and NTU yet :/
Nonetheless, i'll be off to SOT soon (if i pass the interview) and that's where the fun begins.
Building Fund and SOT is gonna zap me of energy, finances and time - but that's when faith comes in (:

I don't know how this is gonna work, and i don't know what's gonna happen. But i know everything's gonna turn out alright. That's what i know, that's what im certain of.

Hopefully Char'll be able to join me at DN, and hopefully i'll be able to gather the strength and willpower in the next 5 months.
God knows i need to grow up, i need a breakthrough. (:

For now, it's all smiles.

Since Dec i've been working my butt off, to sustain my spending and to be financially independent.
Thank God for my job (that pays well + flexible-ish hours), thank God for my inability to be idle,
Thank God for inculcating values of financial independency since young (owing to my brother and sister).
I'm so proud to say i havent taken a single cent from my mum since end Jan :D And somemore i give my parents + grandparents money + buy stuff for them to eat yay!

Not like stupid Glenn, earn money from SAF still got allowance from his dad. WTH.

Speaking of my inability to be idle, i think i suffer from this ):
THE KLEINE LEVIN SYNDROME O.O
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kleine-Levin_syndrome

It sounds exactly like me ):

Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me

I feel emo! ):

Bryan being in army just sucks.
Sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks epic dragon ballz.

Thank God i can just wmao (work my ass off) and totally daze off until Sat when he books out.
It completely sucks cause he can only book out on Sat afternoons and then book in on Sunday night!
Like WTF right?! Stupid SAF, stupid "enhanced batch" bleah.

These few days were good, going out often and drinking Strongbow with friends.
Nothing like a pint and McFlurry after :D
It's nice to earn your own money, and then spend it on your own stuff heh.
I've got nice clothes, bags, shoes etc now = HAPPY NALINA! :DDDDDDD

But no matter how happy i am, i aint happy with my man ):
I SHALL SUE SAF FOR SEVERE EMOTIONAL TRAUMA. Yea. :D

Shut up

I'm starting to get tired of systems.

There're so many things im tired of, but if i actually say what they are, i'll get myself into trouble.

Sometimes i wish i could just say what i feel and not get into trouble, but if i speak -
Let's just say there's a system to correct that.

I don't like ppl not understanding, or worse still, PRETEND to understand and offer words of absolute worthlessness.
Or even worser still, say IF I COULD HAVE DONE IT, YOU CAN DO IT TOO without understanding the full circumstance.

Now i feel myself turning into someone loathesome, someone whom i didnt want to be.
It's as if my entire personality took a one eighty.
I crave for things that have never fully entered my system - and i never want them to.
But i crave.

I feel this process happening, this process that has happened to me before.
But now, im full aware of its presence.
And, im not doing anything to stop it. Im letting it take its course.

There's probably only one person who knows this straight out the horse's mouth.
And that's because if i tell someone else, i'll spark off a chain of events which might lead to dire consequences.
So for now, it's just best i keep my mouth shut and tongue tied.


There's no escaping His Will.

SCHIZO

Before you hit a peak, you gotta go through a low.

For CNY shopping, i spent $101.50. In one day.
$56 in one shop alone.
Not counting my previous purchases AND the bag im buying (tmr, i think :/).

I just finished a 10.5h shift at DN, after doing closing at 1am, sleeping at 2.30am and waking up at 10am (yay 8 hours of sleep is healthy!).
With Bryan's enlistment into army, it's been great when you can just indulge yourself in work with great colleagues/friends.
No matter my mistake, they always correct me to make sure i get it right, which is better than developing the wrong habit in the long run.
Plus! I passed my OJT2! Which means (1) full share tips and (2) im the 1st person in DN to pass the two-test system (:

The only shortcoming is: I havent spoken to Bryan in two days, and it's taking a toll on me.
I know that he's only been in there a week (6 days to be exact), but every time he calls, i feel this happiness, eagerness and love, that i put down everything in my hands to answer my phone.
Just that my phone's in my locker during work, so i cant do shit.
He's enjoying himself in army, all the guns, the bx and stuff, so that's something off my mind.
Just that i'd rather keep him by my side, y'know?
I'm so glad he's booking out tmr, but there's CNY svc.

Which brings me to another point.

I can feel myself splitting into two.

I felt angry today.

Angry with myself,
Angry with the system,
Angry with friends,
Angry with work,
Angry with God.

After a while, I felt tired being angry at everything.
I blasted music into my ears while waiting for Sihui (to pass presents to her).
I questioned myself, and couldnt find a reason to stay angry.

I was angry with things beyond my control, and things that have already passed.
Other people's actions and decisions, as well as my past mistakes (regardless of how long ago they were done) were controlling how i felt currently, and hence affecting my future actions.
There were emotions i couldnt help but feel, but i just gotta tune my mind into blocking them out and feeling the way i should feel - HAPPY.

Be angry, I wont.

YES SIR

So, Rec. Yeo has enlisted into army, and Civilian Goh has lots of time on her hands.
Hence, she's gonna work and work and work.

Payday's coming soon, so i guess i'll be more motivated to work hehe.
I really cant wait for him to book out next Friday, even though he's calling me every night and telling me what a ball he's having in camp.
Nicholas Lee's in the same company and they're bunkmates, so i guess it's awesome to know ppl who know ppl, who know ppl.
I really hope army wont change him so much, otherwise i dont know who i'll be dating anymore :/

Nonetheless, i trust God to protect him and our relationship (:

And to Rec. Yeo:
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK! :D I'm counting down!

Remember, to let her into your heart

Been hooked on Hey Jude for a while now, wonder why.

At the same time, find Mary Poppins totally entertaining.
[FAKE ROBINS FTW!]

NAH NAH NAH NAH NANANA NAAAAAHH...

Bryan's going into Army in exactly 30 hours.
And when that happens, it's gonna be a Single Ladies moment.

PUT YOUR HANDS UP!

Gonna start working Night Shift next week onwards just to take my mind off him,
Cause im a clingy and possessive girlfriend who lives breathes and eats Bryan muahaha.
But yea, i'll miss him (there i said it)..
So to tide over the "Missing BF Phase" i'll just engross myself in work and endless church activities.

Monday work & celebrate Recruit Ang's bday
Tues work & choir
Wed work night!
Thurs work
Fri church CNY svc
Sat CNY

Shall make lots of moolah while keeping my mindspace in check.

Today i totally screwed up drink orders.
Felt like screaming vulgarities at myself cause it was like an epic screw up.
Mixed up vod/soda, vod/tonic, gin/soda and gin/tonic omg.
TWICE.
Thank God the customer was a nice guy and he didnt like swear to kill me.
Cause if i were him i'd be so pissed off.
There. End of rant.
MENTAL NOTE: NEVER EVER DO IT AGAIN.

This Sunday i'll be serving choir at S4 (JW sigh).
Far far away in the West of Sg where even birds are tired of flying so far.
Have to learn to put on falsies and thick, heavy stage makeup.
Not that i dont know how to put stage makeup, but falsies make me sleepy ):
And must dress nice - which isnt a norm for me, FBTs and oversized t-shirts are my style :/

I've submitted my application for SOT, so yea,
It's a signed, sealed, delivered package alr.
Excluding the consent form my mum has to mail to the church office ):
Procedures, procedures.

Things are moving so fast it's hard to keep track of days.