So I've been thinking alot this week, in lieu of my graduation.
Thinking of what I've done wrong and right.
Thinking of the ppl I've met - those who have passed me by, and those who have remained in my life.
Like Sihui said, "You have to choose the ppl who are gonna stay in your life, and those who pass by, pass by."
It's like these two years just flew past.
From OG, to PAE, to Council, to JAE, to Famine Camp, to God knows where I've been to.
The very first time I donned on the SAJC uniform (:I've changed so much during my stay here.
So many ups and downs, lots of downs that have made me more stronger, more independent and less childish (:
So to those friends from SAJC who actually read my blog, thanks for being here to share my two years.
To those I've offended, I'M SORRY.
And, let's take pictures tmr! :DDDDDD
******************************************************************
On a hind note, I'm pretty worried abt the future.
Talking with Sihui today made me realise that there are so many uncertainties that lie in our way after A Levels.
Yes, I know I should only be thinking of A Levels now, but let me just empty my troubles out first (:
After A Levels, I'm gonna feel quite lost.
The routine that the educational system has subjected me to for the past 12 years of my life are gone.
For me, I habituate - So routine stays routine. So when routine's gone, I'm lost.
During University, it's gonna be Own Time Own Target, not something I'm really familiar with.
After A Levels, I'm gonna have to get a job.
I'm not even sure what I wanna go work as - and like a drama queen, always ask myself: WHAT'S MY MOTIVATION? (Y'know how pre-madonnas love to pester their director and stuff)
I'm just praying for God to open doors for me, to earn lots of money so I can do what I need to do in my holiday.
After A Levels, E222 is gonna multiply.
Regardless of whether I get multiplied out, or stay in the cellgroup, it's gonna be the same.
That same feeling of loss - when you lose ppl dear to you, when you lose ppl you've become accustomed to.
I know it's definitely for the better, but getting detached from something that you're attached to is gonna hurt.
I'm really not looking forward to the inevitable.
After A Levels, I have to think of what course and which Uni to go to.
That really sucks, cause I have no clue what I wanna do. Not even in the future - in the near near future.
I'm clueless.
After A Levels, Bryan is going to Army, and I'm going to Uni.
This doesn't really help things along, does it?
It's just self-explanatory - and quote Othello, "a monster that feeds upon itself" - the more you think abt it, the more worried you are, because new situations just emerge out of nowhere due to my fertile imagination.
Ugh. Jesus tells us not to worry, but aahhhhhhh.
No comments:
Post a Comment