ZZZ

AC's over. I didn't donate blood.
I don't know whether that's a good or bad thing, but I guess it just means my time to donate isn't here yet (:

Queuing is horrible.
I don't ever want to do it again.
(Then the next AC comes and I'm all psyched up, then I'll just queue regardless :D)

I feel quite 'pensive' (emo in adult terminology), all because I put myself in this vulnerable situation where my feelings get the hold of me and I can't seem to break out of this cycle that happens every year.
Just that this year is much stronger, and it feels so much heavier.

Denser.

Just like Dr A.R Bernard said, self-conceptualization.
It just feels hard to break out of.

The thing is - I know what the problem is and where it lies,
I know where it came from, and I can foresee where it's headed.
Yet, I still can't bring myself to overcome it.

Hopefully just as Vincent said, it takes time, and eventually you just get over it.
I don't have army to help me, so I'm just gonna have to go a different way.

Speaking of army, it sucks when your boyfriend is out for field camp for the next 10 days,
Which means you can't see him for the next two weeks.
Plus, he won't be around to celebrate it with you, like he's done for the past 3 years.
Worse still, there won't even be a text or a phone call, because he'll be somewhere under the canopy of the dreaded Tekong Forest.

Something else that's weighing me down - I can't even bear to mention it here.


I can't handle these on my own,
It's hard to keep on fighting like this.
I'm tired, I'm weary, I'm confused,
Like a bruised reed, a smoking flax,
So precariously perched on a precipice.
But I know:
You find strength in my weakness,
Beauty in my brokenness.

I lift this to You.

The one thing that I need, be seated at Your feet.