feelin' it

Today was the first time I felt the strain. I knew it was gonna come sooner or later, but today, I really felt it over the phone. When I really couldn't understand what you were saying, I didn't want to hear it. You told me so many things that happened over the last few days, but I really can't make any sense of it. I tried to tell you what was going on on my side, but I don't know how to tell you, I'm scared I have to be cut off halfway because of lights out.

Our lives are so different, moving along different paths, different streams of waters. I can't understand what you tell me, and I don't know how to tell you what I'm going through. That's the tension - the communication breakdown. I know it's quality time over the phone, especially since we can't see each other often, but I still wanna see you, hear your voice and feel your breath right next to me.

I'm frustrated and impatient with all this waiting. I try to make full use of my time every week, going to SOT, church, work and spending time with my family to make myself forget that you're not around me. But it doesn't work. It really doesn't. When I see couples, I think of you. When I hang out with friends, I think of you. When I eat dinner, I think of you. IT FEELS SO DAMN HORRIBLE.

I love you, and I'm still waiting for you to come out. We'll work through this, I promise. We've been together a long time, and there's no problem too large for us to handle together. I love you.