August 29, 2010

Forgiveness

On one of the most important days of my life - you weren't there.

This moment, when gone, will never replay. It'll never come back. It will never happen again. Even if you came on Sunday, it'll still be different.

When everyone was having a happy celebration on Sat night, I was on the rooftop of Tampines One crying my heart out. Because of negligence - sheer, raw negligence.

When I received the text before service started, I walled up my heart and my emotions again because I didn't want to look sad during graduation. I didn't want to feel hurt, or neglected, or disappointed. So I just didn't.

It's quite easy, actually, to clam up your heart.

After service, when everyone was celebrating, my emotions started getting the hold of me. I didn't feel like celebrating, I didn't feel like it was worth it. My 6 months went down the drain, just because of your absence. Like I texted you, I wanted to bask in the after atmosphere, but I just couldn't.

And right now, although I said I've forgiven you, I'm still hurt. If I didn't forgive you, we'd be caught in a limbo of no solution. Because there isn't any reason, no excuse, for what you did, or didn't do.

On a supposed happy day, I still had to settle issues. And I thought six months of torture was enough.

No comments:

Post a Comment