Someone Like You

I missed you terribly today. I see couples everywhere, especially girls holding the hands of their boyfriends with shaved heads - and it makes my heart ache. It's so painful every day of the week when you're not around.

I have full confidence in you getting through army. But I'm struggling so hard to get through army. I thought it would be easier - tough, but manageable. Apparently it's not. I thought my heart would be stronger, but it's not. I haven't spoken to you for so long. And I'm so scared you're angry at me for doing what I did, for what I find hard to control of. I know you're not, but my conscience is eating away at me, and I need you to hold my hand, look me in the eye, and tell me you forgive me. I miss you holding me in your arms, and the loving silence that speaks to my heart.

I know I'm supposed to be strong in God, and not feel so dependent on you, but like I said to you before: You're the highlight of my week. When things get tough, you were always there. Through O Levels, A Levels, arguments, work, disagreements and stress, you were always the one to tell me to make time for myself. After 3 years, I'm still not letting that sink in.

I'm still struggling. Please come out soon.