You've been gone for so long
I'm running out of time
I need a doctor, call me a doctor
I need a doctor, doctor, to bring me back to life.
Bring me back to life
Bring me back to life
Since you left me, my life has gone to shit.
I deal with this the only way I know how - party, drink, dance, party, flirt with guys and drink some more. Sometimes I wish I was perpetually drunk, so I won't think so about what happened so much. To me, this is the only way I know how to repair a broken heart.
It's like since you left me, I've totally lost control of myself. I do things and not think of consequences anymore, I don't give half a shit about school or my finances or my health. I do what I want to do, and I don't care if anyone really cares about me. Cause all I needed in my life was you. I could give anything up for you, if you asked.
But that one mistake cost me everything. That one lapse in judgment made me into who I am today. It made my self-esteem decline into near oblivion, because I no longer know what I stand for and what I deem as important. I don't wanna work anymore, I just want to drink. I don't want to study anymore, I just want to party. I don't want to love anymore, I just want to get high and wasted on things that cost me money. I don't respect myself anymore, I just want to do things I enjoy doing.
Right now so many things are bugging me. Acads, money, you - so I try to run, and I end up creating more trouble for myself. I've been played by so many guys the past two weeks that I'm so numb to it. I've been spending so much money that I'm pretty much fucked till my pay comes in. I've been delaying on work that I know I'll die when tests and assignments are due.
It's sad, I know. But what can I do, when I can't let go?
No comments:
Post a Comment