Graduation

So that's it. I've officially graduated from the School of Theology, class of 2010.

So much of me has changed in 6 months, and I've really had my eyes opened to a much bigger picture and a much bigger world.

Reflection On My SOT Journey

(It's the same one on Facebook, so skip it if you've already seen it :D)

As SOT draws to an end, I feel inclined to reflect upon my personal journey throughout the past six months - the ppl I've met who have become a strong motivating factor in my life, the life lessons I have learnt in school and the experience I have with God in classes, have all defined who I am. The Nalina you see today isn't the same as the one who've met six months ago.

The past six months haven't been easy for me, and I knew the 'trouble' I was gonna get into from the very start. But going through it and experiencing the magnitude of SOT, the pain, the daily crucifixion, the emotional rollercoasters, the misunderstandings - was a totally different story.

Right from the beginning, there wasn't any sponsorship or funding for me. Working late nights in between classes was physically exhausting. Financially, I was tight to the neck and worried about how I was gonna live with about $180 a month for everything. Relationally, I had problems with my family and with my bf. I broke down countless times, and I felt that I couldn't make it to graduation. Truth be told, from June to early Aug, I experienced the worst bio-psycho-socio-spiritual meltdown in my life. Everything just walled up, and I didn't want to talk to anyone about it, not even God. I kept making wrong decisions, and I was just a door away from leaving SOT.

But in times of crisis, those who came through for me, came through for me. Their prayers and intercession moved God's heart to move in my life, and I started making better decisions again. God sent ppl to encourage me, to pray with and for me, or even just to lend a shoulder to cry on.

Now, as graduation draws near, I want to thank those who've gone through such a tumultuous six months of endless counselling, saliva wasting, and also joy spreading for me.

First up, Team 18.

Thank you for being so awesome. To see you guys every day in school is a blessing. And although I take it for granted sometimes, you guys were always there to update me, to contaminate me with lessons and experiences I missed. Without you, SOT would just be dull. Thank you for cheering me on when I was BVing for the first time, thank you for celebrating my 19th birthday, thank you for improving my Chinese by leaps and bounds. I love you guys (:

Next, SOT BV.

You guys may not know this, but the biggest character change God has blessed me with came through you all. I never dared to hold a mic to sing (except in karaoke), and I kept my 'talents' hidden underground, because I was afraid of what others would say. My confidence and boldness grew from my experiences with you. Whenever I see all of you, who even with little experience, sing and give your all during p&w, it motivates me to do the same. I used to sing softly during cg, now I'm always like screaming the song haha! God gave me this newfound confidence through you guys, and I'm so thankful for that. Thank you for all the joy fun and laughter, the horrible squashed car sessions, the initially awkward and nerve-wrecking lessons with Sherlyn, and all the little secrets of holding a mic to sing. (Look at lyrics, sing parts, jump jump, smile even when you're panicking, listen to your voice from monitor, look at lyrics which suddenly change to Chinese, BREATHE, swallow saliva cause throat very dry.. and repeat) It's amazing how one p&w session can be extreme exercise :D

Lastly, the friends whom I've made in SOT. Thank you for your smiles, no matter how small or large, silent or expressive they are, they matter alot to me. They are what keep me going, keep me loving, keep me laughing.

It has been life-changing.

Good morning SOT! (:

And goodbye, SOT.

It's so surreal. I'm a Bible School graduate. 0.0

internet killed the video star

There're just so many things to do, so little time.

I wonder which are the things that are worthwhile, and which are those meant to be thrown away and abandoned. Prioritising, they call it.

Nonetheless, here's the list of things to be done in the near days/weeks:

1. Rehearsals for SOT grad performance

2. Assignments (OMG headache)

3. Online matriculation (I can only do so on Tues to Thurs which are super busy days)

4. Hand in my tuition grant form at the NTU office (How could I have forgotten right?!)

5. Ordering my MACBOOK PRO online, with my matric card for a student price (Booyah!)

6. Theology and Romans exam on Tues. Dear God, help.

7. Jamming with Weixiang and Cornelius for Homecoming

8. Apply for my student concession

Dizzy yet? Cause I am.

Just for the fun of it, here's a really pretty peekture of me. Insane, that glow.

Now I'm kinda missing clubbing. Haven't been to one in like, a month or so (since Aga's birthday which was eons ago)? I really feel like going, but I can't be distracted, not now.

Plus, this gives my body more time to detox before I embark on uni :D

HOMECOMING = FREE BEER + ICE CREAM!

(:

Haha, Sihui said that I was acting emo in my previous post (: So now, it's time to talk about happy things :D

Things have been really bad the past few weeks, tons and tons of worries and burdens, so let's think of the happy(ish) things that are gonna come my way.

Number 1: WKWSCIFOC!
If that's a mouthful, it's just Orientation Camp for my course coming up next next week!

Number 2: Bryan's Social Night!
Hopefully it'll be an awesome night!

Number 3: Bryan's block leave!
We're planning to go overseas, probably to Malaysia cause it's cheap, but we gotta decide where to go and how much to spend.

Sometimes I just want to tell people what I'm going through, especially to those who are really really important to me. But now is not the time. I need to overcome and conquer before letting people know what I'm going through, or by then, what I've been through. But if I don't get past it, I know these people will stand by me no matter what decision I make. They'll most probably just feel disappointed, but I know I won't be judged. Let's just see what happens this week in SOT, who knows by this time next week, I'll be set free (:

That's it Nal, keep up the bright attitude.

For SOT now, it's assignments neverending. Insane insane. I'm gonna conquer it all by this Friday, I promise myself!

To Bryan: Don't give up (: I'll be here waiting till you finish Scorpion King. I love you! :D

Through It All

I sat down with Liting at the bus stop and told her everything.

While she was talking, towards the end, my heart started to palpitate. Like something alive came in me again. I could feel something growing inside me. I could feel my eyes starting to water.

As I confessed everything to her, she never once told me to stop. She didn't tell me that I was wrong. She didn't tell me that as a Christian, I am obligated to blah blah do this do that etc. Even though she knows that what I'm doing is wrong. And as she listened intently to what I was saying, I could feel no judgment from her, I could feel no disgust from her. All I could feel was God speaking through her while she spoke to me.

I almost cried just while sitting there.

As I got home, all that I felt at the bus stop vanished away. I could feel my body breaking down once again. I felt tired, in alot of pain, and I just felt my sickness flooding through my body. Here I am, with a sore throat, an ulcered gum and runny nose, hammering away at my laptop.

Never once in my life have I thought that I would degrade to such a level.

HELLO! :D

I am currently missing something:
DANCING!

Bimbo sister in the middle (:

Gosh. It's been AGES since I danced.. Over two years?
I feel like joining some dance class - O School, Dance Ensemble?
But now I really can't afford the time.
Sigh. Just one of the many things I wanna do: GET MY SPLIT BACK.
It's been forsaken since goodness knows when.

Dancing in secondary school and singing in SOT now.
Honestly, I just wanna do both! Cause I can't decide which I prefer :D

Today I had a talk with Merrill and my choir ic Meida, and both are telling me the same thing.
It's time really, it's time to rest before things get worse.


With regards to my university, I've decided on NTU WKWSCI.
It'll be a 4 year Direct Honors course, then after that I'll be working in media :D
So now I need to decide whether or not I wanna stay in a hall, and if I am, which hall.
Questions questions, so little answers.

(:

Thank God for Bryan's early book out and late book in this week :D

A Level results are coming out this Friday, and right now i just feel emotionless, up to a point of nonchalence.
I havent even gone to check up on the courses available in NUS and NTU yet :/
Nonetheless, i'll be off to SOT soon (if i pass the interview) and that's where the fun begins.
Building Fund and SOT is gonna zap me of energy, finances and time - but that's when faith comes in (:

I don't know how this is gonna work, and i don't know what's gonna happen. But i know everything's gonna turn out alright. That's what i know, that's what im certain of.

Hopefully Char'll be able to join me at DN, and hopefully i'll be able to gather the strength and willpower in the next 5 months.
God knows i need to grow up, i need a breakthrough. (:

For now, it's all smiles.

Since Dec i've been working my butt off, to sustain my spending and to be financially independent.
Thank God for my job (that pays well + flexible-ish hours), thank God for my inability to be idle,
Thank God for inculcating values of financial independency since young (owing to my brother and sister).
I'm so proud to say i havent taken a single cent from my mum since end Jan :D And somemore i give my parents + grandparents money + buy stuff for them to eat yay!

Not like stupid Glenn, earn money from SAF still got allowance from his dad. WTH.

Speaking of my inability to be idle, i think i suffer from this ):
THE KLEINE LEVIN SYNDROME O.O
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kleine-Levin_syndrome

It sounds exactly like me ):